You will agree with me that the married woman is the personification of a sweet but forbidden fruit: so unattainable and yet so very enticing to so many men. It does not matter, whether, she is the wife of a friend, an acquaintance or a co-worker, some men cannot help but become drawn in by a woman with a ring on her finger.
For some men, the allure of a woman in a committed relationship is magnetic. To sleep with her, make her want them and maybe even fall in love with them, is a perverted sense of accomplishment. But I can assure you that the ego rush you get when you have an affair with an attached woman is not worth it; definitely not worth it.
In fact, this title of this post is the opposite of the almost normal practice of young women dating married men. So, why do some specie of men, find the married women irresistible? You will find this specie of men, by passing all the beautiful single ladies in town and setting their gaze on the married woman, the one with her very obvious set of rings. In fact, if she has forever ring on her ring finger, all the better. That just shows, she is very secure in her marriage and the best option. Some of the things that attract these men to married women include:
There is something about a married woman that is often not present in single ladies; it is the self assuredness with which they carry themselves. Every man likes that in a woman. A self assured woman looks good on a man’s arms; it actually screams “I’m so confident of myself; I can have a confident woman by my side.”
But it does not work like that in case of a single man wanting to date a married woman, there is none of that feeling of her looking good on his arms, it is plain attraction to what he cannot have. It is plain covetousness, if you ask me. It is the forbidden fruit and that is what makes it attractive. Men like what they cannot have. But remember, the forbidden fruit may taste sweet but the result may be pure poison.
A different experience
Well, that’s the description of a guy who dated a married woman. It was a no-strings attached relationship, where they slept with each other like twice a week and did nothing else. They did the real relationship parts of dating, movies, dinners and talking with their respective partners. The life of that ‘relationship’ if it can be called that existed only within the four walls of their love nest and it was all physical.
There were no expectations, nothing tying him to her, except their mutual need for sex. The affair continued until he became a married man and moved to another city and then it ended.
Married women know what they want
Married women are the wonderful specie of women who know exactly what they want, either in the bedroom or outside of it. They have had years, sometimes months of experience under their belt and that comes in handy when needed. Some men like that a lot. There is no dilly dally here, they know their own mind and that helps make the choices easier to make for the man. But why bother guys?
None of the frustrations that come with dating a single lady
The usual frustrations that go with dating a single woman will largely not be there with the married woman. Problems are solved quickly, in fact there will likely be no problem as the time spent together is short and should there ever be issues, you can be sure that a cold war will not follow. You will always be happy together. You will never get affected by her mood swings, because she will not have any with you and she will always appear sweet and romantic with you.
It’s an Ego Boost
I might have hinted about it before but the plain truth is, there are single men who like to power trip. They actively seek out married women to date because these women are both unavailable and unattainable. It seems wrong to steal another man’s woman but it can feel so right for some single men. As said earlier, it is the thrill of the hunt, which makes all the difference. And it’s about male competitiveness -a man may actually brag about his conquests with his friends and how he pities, or ridicules, the unsuspecting husband.
Surely, you did not think, I will give you reasons without telling you the consequences of dating a married woman? I would be doing you a disservice, if I did. While the idea of sleeping with another man’s wife and getting away with it may sound great as a fantasy, it is far from that simple, except for a narcissist. Sure, the sex can be out of this world but just for a moment what if, that woman falls in love with you or you fall in love with her? What would you do?
Just so you know, you have become a willing accomplice in the charade that will eventually ensue in her life as a result of your affair. Her marriage is on the line and if she has kids, you are becoming partly responsible for ensuring they get less than they deserve. A woman having an affair no longer gives her 100 percent in her home.
Not only that, what if you are actually acquaintances with her husband? What if her husband is actually a guy, you call friend, the guy you do business with, the same guy, you work out with? How would you feel when you have to relate to them, knowing you are ‘laying’ their wife or having an unhealthy affair with the wife? Unless, you have a heart of stone, you will definitely feel something.
There you have it, the reasons and the consequences. I would however advise you chose not to get involved in it at all. Affairs can often seem so easy in theory, and so very complicated in reality.
Or just think, what if some other man, helps to ‘care’ for your wife when you are married? That thought should reset your internal settings. Or scare you into fearing God.
Either way, don’t do it!
Kristine is a member of the The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.