It is ironic how I just listening to some good old Whitney Houston playlist while working on a proposal two nights ago when my phone rang. I answered and it was Tolu on the other end. I said “hey girl, how you doing” and she said “fine” in a very low-key voice. I sat up immediately, knowing something must have gone wrong. Just then, Whitney’s voice went high pitch on the ‘where do broken hearts go, can they find their way home?’ line of one of her all time hits. Tolu burst out like “please put off that song playing in the background” and I quickly ran to tune off my sound system. “What is the matter ore mi?” She blurted out tearfully that some chick just called her, telling her to stay away from Dele, her boyfriend. The lady insisted that she was engaged to Dele and begged my darling Tolu to back off! Tolu that had invested so much in the relationship, flying bi-weekly to go see him. I asked her where she was, packed up my work stuff and went to visit her. Good thing, Isabella is spending the entire week at her father’s parents’ house.
Broken hearts need to turn to their few trusted friends. On my way to Tolu’s place, I rang Zinny and gave her the 411 and since she lives closer to Tolu, she was already there by the time I arrived. Tolu tried calling Dele immediately after the chic called him, but he didn’t pick. Now, we told her not to jump into conclusions until she hears from him. Good friends help you put things in perspective when you are broken hearted and hurt. You see, Dele invested as much as Tolu did in their relationship and I don’t see why he would travel to Lagos so often to see her, and pay for her flights to and fro PH if he wasn’t committed. I know that sleek players abound but Dele really didn’t look the part…nor did he feel like it.I mean, Tolu was celibate when they met and she told him that. He was happy to oblige to her wishes about staying away from sex for a while, until three months into their relationship when Tolu initiated the act. He didn’t stop loving her when he got the cookies and he has contributed some much to her self-development; paying for her to attend conferences and even registering her for helpful professional courses. I shared my sentiments with them and Zinny was on the same page with me, in fact she believes it must be one of Dele’s scorned ex that called Tolu. Anyways, time would tell what is really going on, but the good thing was that we were available for our friend. Broken hearts need shoulders to cry on.
A broken heart can always return to a thriving career! Like someone once said; if you are confused about what to give up between your career and your relationship; remember that your career would not wake up one morning and tell you it doesn’t need you anymore. After Zinny and I stayed on till very late keeping Tolu company till she fell asleep, I went back home and tried to continue working on my proposal. So, yesterday after a brainstorming session with my team, I called my girl to know how she was faring and she was so upbeat. “Has Dele called you?” I asked. She replied “Yes oh, I woke up to see his missed calls and he has even being calling all day, but I don’t have time now, abeg. My boss is on my neck for the report from the last company audit we did”. I smiled and we chatted for a bit before I dropped the call. Nothing like a tedious job to take your mind off your relationship woes.While we were at her place the other night, she kept glancing at her phone and waiting for Dele to call her, and yesterday, she was too busy to even take his call. This is why I am all for women’s empowerment. Gone are the days when we stay in bed all day weeping and crying and waiting for some man to give us validation! If you have a demanding job and you know your boss wouldn’t tolerate your slacking off, then be grateful for that job when you are having a rough patch in your relationship, because it would reduce the time you spend mopping and crying, and also help you see that the end of a relationship is not the end of your life.
Broken hearts can also tune to their spirituality! In my opinion, we spend too much on relationships with the opposite sex than we do with ourselves and God. When I called off my engagement, it suddenly dawned on me that I was living an empty spiritual life. I looked up to a man for the role that only God could play; I derived my identity, self worth, life’s meaning and happiness from a man and it was only natural for me to end up disappointed and broken-hearted. When a relationship ends, you immediately feel a hollow in your heart, that you just know, only God can fill, so you turn to his Word and spend more time in church…and he does fill you. He has been waiting on the side all these years for you to notice him anyways. The most important relationship in my life is the one I have with my creator, and I only started off when I broke off my engagement. Now, I am so secure in God’s grace and love, that there is no need in my life for a man. I am conscious of the fact that God took a rib out of man to create woman, but no rib was taken out of Eve. Thus, men are not complete until they find their missing rib, but women were made whole and we do not need anyone to complete us, we can do with someone who compliments us though. My darling Tolu went for mid-week service today and I wasn’t surprised, because broken hearts turn to God.
I don’t have much follow up information about her issue with Dele because it’s being a busy week for everyone, but I would furnish you with details when I do. In the meantime, I hope you now know where broken hearts go? E-hugs!!
Jacy is a single mom in her late twenties. She works as a brand strategist in a Communications & Brand company during the day and as a writer at night; when she is not helping her daughter with homework or drawings. She is cheerful, friendly and spiritual. She is currently not in any relationship but she has a few love interests. Her world revolves around her daughter, church, movies and her career.