When you want more than just friendship

 

It is often said that friends make the best lovers, and they end up lasting longer. That is because their friendship will sustain them, when the burning passion of their love might have left.

That’s why people are often advised to marry their friends. Some are lucky to have that and some aren’t. However, what is more important is to make your partner your friend, and life becomes sweet. It could be boring at times, but it will never lack flavour.

In years past, having a friend of the opposite sex was like taboo, but its common place now, which is why it is possible to fall in love with your male/female best friend.

Tayo was one guy whom Wade texted to update about every single date she had been on. Tayo had even handpicked some guys for Wade for her to date. He knew the guy who was stingy; he knew the one who was all show and no brain, he also knew the guy who was so good to Wade but whom she did not like. Tayo had all the details and had had most of the details since they met in secondary school and had struck up a friendship based on their small stature, which they made up for with their acid tongue. Everyone knew them as the duo who could insult the life out of you.

Interestingly, their love life as youngsters was subjected to the approval of the others and it was simply because they both knew how they insulted the choices the other made, in terms of the persons they dated. So they often went through that routine. In fact, one deciding factor was “What would Tayo/ Wade think about this person?”

Even while they were in University and hardly saw each other, that conditioning always kicked in and while they tried to shake it off, it was on full blast when they graduated and picked up their friendship from where they left off. Wade introduced Tayo as her brother to her dates, and he did the same.

Although Wade was the hot babe who got loads of toasters, Tayo rarely dated. He had one steady girlfriend, who was still in the University. So, often, he was free to continue his unpaid job as consultant to Wade’s love life.

Wade and Tayo had been having a drink at a restaurant, where she had just finished having yet another date that did not end well, after which she had called her superman, who promptly showed up. He had simply asked, “How did it go?” and proceeded to chat on his phone, smiling once in a while, moving his eyes off his phone and making appropriate sounds.

She hadn’t been offended, after all there were countless times she had been in that exact position, and he had been the one talking. So, no stress, but she got a revelation during that moment. Tayo had looked up with one sheepish grin on his face, showed her his phone screen and burst into a laughter that attracted attention to them.

Wade had merely smiled at what she saw, even though it was hilarious.  She was instead struck by how gorgeous he was, and the thought that had come to her mind as he laughed was “You are in love with him!”

Never in her life had Wade thought Tayo was going to be the man for her. Never! He was just another smart mouth kid like herself, and then that buddy that got her back all the time, but the more time passed, the more she realised that indeed it was the truth. Tayo had had years to infiltrate her heart without her knowledge, and the realisation of that love was just hitting her in the face right now.

The first thing she did was to take flight. They were not going to happen, she thought and therefore distanced herself from him. She did not call, she did not text or pick his calls and always had an excuse for not seeing him as regularly as before.  Tayo had thought she just got another beau who was keeping her busy, but was dumbfounded when he realised that Wade was hiding from him.

couple-with-flowers

It took a lot to confess, but Wade came through and told him he was spoiling her dating game with his presence in her life. Tayo had been hurt and had walked away. Wade was the one who let the basket out of the bag, with the message she sent later that night.  

She admitted to being in love with him and felt a need to get him out of her system, hence the distance she had been putting between them.  That night, they both confessed to being in love with each other, and that was how they became an item to the amazement of some people and the I-told-you-so nods of others.

When Wade started to date her best friend, she gained a lot: a protector, undeniable confidence, and a feverish determination to make the relationship work.  No more the complaints galore that had characterised her past relationships. And so did Tayo. For once, he wasn’t helping Wade to determine if she should go out with that guy or not, instead, they were making plans for their future.

How things could change in a twinkle of an eye.

On the other hand, it is not all friendships where there are love feelings that result into a romantic relationship, or that should even end up that alley. Some feelings need to be reined in before they get out of hand or risk losing on all sides.  The key is to know which is which.

Stay in love!

 

Kristine Signature

Kristine is a member of  The Lovelint team. She  is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.

Photo credits:

1. http://il5.picdn.net/shutterstock/

2. http://1.bp.blogspot.com/

 

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