We have had an article on what it feels like to be dating a Momma’s boy, now it’s the turn of the guys. What does it feel like when you are in love with a lady, who has a very strong relationship with her mother? You wonder, how does that affect your relationship with her? Will you play second fiddle to her mother? Will her mother always interfere in your relationship? These are some questions that will come to mind but I bring you the low down of dating one of such lady.
I’m dating one. My fiancé, Nelo is very close to her mother and, truthfully, it can sometimes feel as though I come in second place to her mother, but when I see her cuddle with my mother, I just realise that she is just a girl in love with moms. So what’s the real dish? What does it feel like to date one, to be in love with one?
She is wife material all the way
This is one thing you cannot take away from a Momma’s girl. They are wife material, the whole nine yards; whichever way you look at them. They grew up learning from the best; house management, relationship management, husband management, they have it mastered to a tee! They have got it down pat. She is one babe you will want to take home to Mama, and I can bet you that when your Mom sees her, she will see a kindred spirit. They always know themselves.
Take for instance the first time I took Nelo home, to meet my family, it was an unannounced visit, but it went way better than I had expected. Immediately my mom saw her, she warmed to her, which is something unusual with my taciturn mom. With my fiancée, she hugged her, and my mother hugs no one…well, maybe my dad in the privacy of their bedroom (and that is none of my business).
After the visit, which went smoothly, with my mom catering to her every need; my mom asked me where I had been searching for girlfriends before, and how had the scales fallen from my eyes. Trust my Mom not to spare me my past history. In fact, the rest of my family only had nice things to say about her. Which only confirmed my gut feelings about her.
She is going to take really good care of you
That’s one of the major perks of dating, and marrying, a Momma’s girl. They love to take care of people. They nurture in a different way entirely. They enjoy nurturing and taking care of other people. So you can be sure that your girl is going to call you thrice daily to find out if you have eaten, and what exactly you ate. In other words, prepare to be pampered.
And it is not just your stomach that is important to her. Your overall well-being is; how you dress, how you live, and everything that concerns you. Feel free to place your head in her laps, whenever you can, and her mothering instincts just kick in. She will probably lure you to sleep with her pettings and humming. Life is sweet with this one.
She has her Mom on speed dial
Truthfully, this can be annoying, in fact very irritating, I tell you. Even if she calls a number by mistake, it can only be that of her mom. You are chatting with her, and then the next thing, she is calling her mom to talk about what you consider inanities, like a cousin’s wedding, whose aso ebi they have not bought, or what was that colour of shoes she wanted again, teal or aqua? Phew!
Having an internet-savvy mom does not help too. My fiancée’s mom is on at least two social sharing platforms, which makes communication pretty fluid between them. Calls and text messages too are not left unanswered; else the other person will feel unsettled.
The best part of this whole business is she is forming the same kind of relationship with my mom. She often hears about what’s happening first in my family home, even before I hear, because, she is always calling to find out how they are doing.
Another good part of this mom-daughter love affair is that it has improved my own relationship with my mom. She is always prompting me to do one thing or another for my mom, “When was the last time you saw her?” “You know, that necklace would look beautiful on your mom?” “Obiora, you have to call your Mom now!” Let’s just say, I’ve got my mom on speed dial too. She’s turned me into a Momma’s boy.
She needs to tell her Mom, both the good and bad news
Well, this is sometimes that’s a two edged sword, even for her. She would have probably told her mom about that presentation she nailed in the office, that new promotion or the new job offer, and they would have done the girly cheers, before she calls you to share her news.
Save yourself some stress, and don’t bother asking if she has told her mom. You already know the answer to that. She can’t resist talking to her mom; that’s why she is on social media, remember?
As for the bad news, who better to share them with than someone who has been swabbing her scrapped knees since she was a baby. Believe me, it is nothing to do with you. It does not mean she does not love you, it is simple force of habit. I had to learn that the hard way.
There was a day Nelo was robbed at gun point, while she was coming back from work. She called her mother before she called me, and I didn’t know that. I was already in my car headed towards the place, where she was stranded, when she told me her mom was already there, and they were on their way home.
After confirming again with her that there were no bodily injuries, I parked my car and went inside to bed. A few hours later, she called me to find out why I was not at her mom’s place yet. Imagine my surprise! I paid heftily for that oversight and it made me realise that while her mother has her place in my life, she wants me there. There are some things that even her mom cannot do for her. I have to do my part.
You better treat her mom really nice
The fastest way to lose a girl who’s close to her mom is to not make an effort to get to know her mother. If you treat her mom any less than the queen she is, your relationship will be short lived. It nearly was the case with me, but I soon caught on. It also helped that our relationships with our moms are great. The moms are even friendly towards each other, courtesy of us, and we are not even married yet. That’s great, right?
So that’s what dating a Momma’s girl is like for me. It is a mixed bag of blessings; you have to be a strong man though, as you might be tempted to feel as though you are in competition with your girl’s mom. You couldn’t be more wrong because, in her mind, you have your different roles.
And one more thing, not all momma’s girls are nice and nurturing. Some are spoilt, plain and simple. However, most are the best thing that could ever happen to you.
If you were to ask me, I would say, love a Momma’s girl and see the difference!
But then you are talking to a man in love with one. *smiles*