When the guy gets dumped: how to recover


It had always been a thing of pride for Timilehin; some sort of bragging rights. He was proud of the fact that he had never been dumped by any lady, but was always the one to get tired and break up with his girlfriends. Some of Timilehin’s friends suspected that he was just lying, but a good number knew it was actually the truth. Timilehin was the sort of guy to get tired quickly in a relationship, and he never hesitated to end things when the fun was out.

But there was someone he did not get bored of. He was hooked on Shade; he dreamt her, and he lived for her. His friends were pretty surprised at the number of times he mentioned Shade’s name in their conversations. And the worst part was, Shade did not know that Timilehin existed. He was not on her radar at all. When he asked her out, she literally bogged him off and told him, she was not into his type of guy. But Timilehin did not give up, he kept going back to her and asking her to consider him as her boyfriend.

Eventually, she accepted to date him, after three months of pressure. But that relationship did not last another three months before she dumped him. Her reason was that he was crowding her, that he did not give her any breathing space. He wanted to know every minute detail of her life and movement, which was choking out the life from her.

Timilehin was a mess after that break up. He took it really hard. He felt at loose ends; as though, he had lost a vital part of himself and he went on a drinking spree to deaden the pain he was feeling, the anger and all the other emotions that were crashing through his head. For the sake of another Timilehin out there, before you go on any more self damaging process after a break up, try the tips below.

Think of your break up as a fresh start

This might be hard to do at first but the best way to start, is to think of the many sacrifices you had made for the sake of your ex and how you ditched certain habits of yours but it was still not enough to hold the attention of your girlfriend.

Feel free to get angry and let that motivate you to see your break up as a opportunity to do things your own way, as it pleases you and not in any way to please someone else. Recall all those habits of hers that riled you and indulge your anger now.

No alcohol at all

Just as Timilehin found out for himself, when you drink, you only add to your problem. It did not stop the ache in his heart. As soon as the alcohol wore off, he felt worse than he did before, so he kept on drinking and that only worsened the situation because he soon fell ill.

The truth is, if alcohol could end depression and sadness, then alcoholics would be the happiest people on earth. Contrary to popular belief, alcohol will make your more depressed. It is a depressant; not a medication that brings on happiness.Some guys take drinks at night so that they can fall asleep, however, when they wake up in the morning, they feel sad about their situation.

Furthermore, if you drink excessively, you will lose your ability to think properly. Thus, you will not be able to get over her, and you might develop suicidal thoughts.

The best thing is not to start at all, not even a sip.

Cry if it helps!

Yeah, I know it is popularly believed that men don’t cry but the truth is, men cry and I would advice that a lot of men cry, instead of bottling up emotions. That would help stop so many heart aches not to mention heart attack.

A man who had just gone through a break up deserves to cry, it is not a sign of weakness, rather, it is sign that shows that you loved someone so much that their exit from your life made your cry.

But please, don’t be like the ladies, who cry over the same matter over and over again. Feel free to cry over a lady the first time, but don’t indulge the second time around. That does not speak well of you or your state of mind.

Bond with your friends

You see it often, when lady suffers heart break, her friends gather around her and they listen to her pour out her heart to them concerning the break up. They show empathy, they sympathise, they help her to recover from the break up and even ensure that she does not repeat same mistake.

On the other hand, men tend to limit their contact with people after a break up. To heal, it is time to have boys’ talk. Have the boys over and no matter how uneasy you feel, tell them how you are feeling. From your speech, your friends will respond and you will be able to have a meaningful chat, that makes you feel better after the break up.

Watch the last thing on your mind before you sleep

To truly heal, you need to stop thinking about the girlfriend who dumped you, just before you sleep. It is an established fact that you will wake up with the thought which was last on your mind before you sleep.

Instead of thinking of her, keep handy some positive reading materials that will keep your psychological mind active while you sleep and it will bring a smile to your face when you wake up.

So, should you ever suffer break ups again, you know what to do.

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Photo credits:

1. http://www.bet.com/

2. https://www.blackdoctor.com/

3. http://www.nydailynews.com/

4. http://www.onyxtruth.com/

5. http://www.themoderatevoice.com/

6. http://www.jornalatribuna.com.br/

 

 

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