Us Girls, Must Stick Together

In an earlier article, I wrote about my friend Tolu who received a call from a lady in Port Harcourt, claiming to be engaged to Tolu’s boyfriend, Dele, and threatening hell and brimstones if Tolu didn’t leave her man alone. Well, Tolu doesn’t take kindly to threats, so even after her boyfriend explained that the girl was a scorned ex, who was hellbent on ruining his relationship with an “if I can’t have you, no-one else will” attitude; Tolu took an unannounced trip to Port Harcourt. Zinny was worried she was going to come back to Lagos broken hearted, but I was more concerned about whether Dele was telling the truth or not. In my short lifetime, I have seen and heard enough to know that some guys can lie in a way that would amaze the devil, so I was all for the unannounced trip, while Zinny sat on the fence, hoping she would not have to tell us “I told you so”.

Co-incidentally, when Tolu got to Dele’s house, she could hear him in a heated argument with a girl. She quietly asked the gateman what was going on and he told her that there was always a girl that come to harass Dele, and even showed Tolu scratches he was dealt with when he tried preventing her from entering the compound, after Dele had given him directives to follow. Tolu, ever ready for drama, said “ehn ehn?”, removed her dizzy high heels and traded it in for flip flops from her travel bag. She went up to Dele’s flat and listened to their conversation for a bit. The girl was basically saying she loved Dele, was ready to be his second wife, couldn’t find love with any other guy and stuff like that. Dele on the other hand, was telling her to leave him alone, saying she dumped him when he had nothing and she was back because he now had a good job with an oil company. Then, the girl said something about she losing her virginity to him and how they are tied together forever. My dear, Tolu burst into the apartment with a loud “God forbid”. Dele and the girl were transfixed in shock…none of them could make sense of Tolu’s presence.
Dele who recovered first, hugged her and did a mock introduction between Tolu and the girl, named Sandra. According to Tolu, her head swooned when Dele introduced her as his future wife and mother of his children. Tolu said if looks could kill, Sandra’s eyes would have murdered her in that moment. She could tell this was the girl that called her spitting venom and threatening fire. In a twist of fate, she felt compassion for the girl as she could tell that she was very hurt and embarrassed. “Compassion ke?” I interjected during the narration at our favorite food court. “Yes oh, I just felt so sorry for her. It was obvious she really liked Dele and if not that I love him so much, I would have gladly left him for her” my friend added, with an imaginary halo on her head. I hissed before saying “so Dele is now a piece of furniture to be passed around out of compassion. He doesn’t like the girl, if not they would be together by now, so before you go all angelic and think of sacrificing your love out of compassion, think about the fact that the man simply doesn’t want to be with the girl”. Zinny was reprimanding me for being too harsh, when Tolu said I was right sha and told us to keep quiet and hear the rest of the gist.

The girl turned and was about leaving when Tolu called her back and asked her to wait. Dele looked at her like she was nuts, especially when she asked Dele to excuse them. “What for?” he had retorted, with unbelief in his voice. “We just need to have a girl talk” Tolu responded, determined to take control of the situation. I wasn’t surprised at all…Tolu is a control freak like that! Anyways, she encouraged Sandra to sit down and then the preaching started. “Men accuse women of being our own worst enemies, and with an attitude like yours, it is easy to see why. From your looks, I would put you at 24 or 25 years of age, yet you stoop so low as calling a guy’s girlfriend and creating drama just to get someone back. Did you think of how I felt when you called me and lied that you were Dele’s fiancee? I understand that you have feelings for him, but selfishness is controlling your actions and would only lead you to more embarassment. I saw the shame that washed over you when Dele introduced us, and I felt for you, which is why I called you back. I could have jeered at you and insulted you further but what good would that do? I have to be my sister’s keeper, we have to stick together. Sorry for everything you have been through, and I hope you find the strength to let go, and the courage to find love again”.

The speech ended and Sandra said a meek thank you, got up and left. “Just thank you?” Zinny quipped? I wonder what else Zinny was expecting the poor girl to say. Apparently, she had not expected Tolu to show up, neither had she expected a sisterly word from the lady she called to threaten over a guy. I was certain that the girl was going to have a rethink and see sense in what Tolu said, and I hope she learnt her lessons and got better. Every turn you take, you see sisters hurting sisters. This sister snatching this sister’s husband, this sister backbiting another sister at work, this sister wishing for another sister’s downfall. I wonder when all the viciousness would end and we can pull back our claws and, exchange hugs instead. Some years ago, I played particular notice to the fact that girls hardly give wholesome compliments about each other. You see two girls chatting and a pretty girl passes by, one of the girls say “hmmmn, her perfume smells nice, but she has spots all over her legs”. The second person turns to look at the girl and says “It’s true, her spots are really bad oh! The money she spent on expensive perfume, she should have used it to buy cream for the spots”. You hardly see guys get so negative about another brother! Because united we stand, divided we fall…us girls, must stick together!






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