I recently read the account of a date gone south. The date was something out of a poor Nollywood movie. This guy, who should have known his capabilities, invited a girl out on a date and asked her to choose where she would like to go.
She chose a restaurant and he did not complain. On the day of the date, the lady had arrived on time to wait but he sauntered in 20 minutes later and sat down without a word of apology. Not wanting to seem demanding, she had not said anything about his tardiness.
They had indulged in some small talk until a waiter came around to take their order. Rather than let her make her order, he took it upon himself to decide what his date would eat. She started to suspect the obvious; this guy wasn’t able to afford this place. Rather than say so, so they could go somewhere more affordable, he bought her a meal, the one with the least price on the menu, and got nothing for himself, not even water.
When she saw the eagle eye with which he was eyeing her food, she invited him to join her. He needed no prodding. He joined in and ate more than half of the meal. There was no small talk thereafter, it was pretty obvious that they had nothing in common, and that the date was a waste of time for both of them but still, she waited over an hour before she excused herself from a horrible date.
Compared to some other ladies, she was really nice to have waited for over an hour to leave.
Below are tips you can use to remove yourself from the company of a bad date.
Tip 1: Fight or flight
All of us have a fight-or-flight instinct, all thanks to the hormone, adrenaline. If you’re stuck on a horrible date and your guy’s laugh is unbearably loud, or maybe his teeth are yellow or his mouth odour is unbearable, then your first instinct is to leave. It might not seem like such good karma at first to ditch your date, but sometimes karma understands certain situations.
If you’re ready take flight, try looking at your phone, like you have just received an emergency text message (you don’t need to shed light on to what the emergency may be). Make sure to exclaim how it’s important that you leave right away. For good and believable measure, tell him you wish you could stay and hang, but you can’t. Oh, and offer to pay for your meal, even if you have no intention to do so.
So you’re a fighter, eh? Good for you. If you’re willing to stick out a really bad date in hopes that it might possibly, somehow, get better, like the lady at the beginning of this article, then at least reward yourself with an alcoholic beverage or ice cream like she did. It will take the edge off.
Tip 2: The Classic Excuse
This excuse is certainly not unique, but if you’re not afraid to look like a complete brat, then tell your date that you need to use the ladies’ room and then leave the restaurant.
There are exceptions, though. If your date is rude, mean, might be a possible serial killer and completely deserves to be ditched, then hang him out to dry. If he’s just not your style, but still polite and nice, then I hate to say it, but you’re just a coward.
Tip 3: When you’ve lost all hope
If you’ve been through every possible escape scenario, none seems practical, and you just can’t take it anymore, just start crying. It’s a first date and that’s a red flag. You’re so done for, and he will freak. Unless he’s the sensitive type, then he might just console you, in which you have another problem on your hands. Good luck with that one.
Tip 4: When you’re now desperate
Note that this strategy should only be used in extreme situations, but if you’re locked in this date for some reason, just start giving out too much information. He talks about your hair, tell him it’s a wig. He comments on your shoes, tell him it’s your sister’s. If he asks you why you’re not feeling well, tell him you have cramps and your period is super-heavy right now and, on top of that, you’ve also got some infectious disease and had only come, because you didn’t’ want to cancel on him. I bet, he will be begging you to go home by then alone. And if he doesn’t, feel free to pick your bag and leave.
Tip 5: Just do it
This is the last resort; the last stop; the last excuse: Just be honest. Tell him, nicely (or not, depending on how nice he is) that you’re just not interested in him. He will get over it because he’s probably not interested in you, anyway. After that, go out and meet your girlfriends and party away the night. Dance, too.
But keep dating; your prince charming is just around the corner.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.