“There is nothing I cannot tell or say to my boyfriend/husband” is a phrase often used by people in love. Even couples who have been together for long also use it. And that is a good stance except that your man, out of love might not want to tell you that there are certain things and phrases, he prefers not to hear.
While you can say all things to your man, bear it in mind that certain things like the ones listed below, should be avoided like the plague, they don’t build up your relationship but instead, they bring doubts, which chip away at your relationship until there is nothing left of it. Enjoy:
“Don’t worry; I can do it by myself”
This is one of the best ways to shrivel a man’s ego, if that is what you are gunning for. A man offers to help you and you refuse? That is absolute nonsense. Every man wants to be a knight to a damsel in distress, so let him. Even if you are not in distress, and you can do it by yourself, still let him do it.
I remember from a long time ago, when late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya while preaching used the analogy of a man changing light bulb for his neighbour’s wife, because she asked, while his own wife is struggling inside their home to fix same light bulb because she had refused his help. So, while his wife struggled, he was feeling useful in another man’s house.
Now, this is my own theory, if that woman were to ask him to help out in other areas, you bet, he will consider it, maybe not do it, why? His ego is pumped full after all. Stop doing it by yourself, especially all those things that a man is supposed to do in the house, let him do it and if he offers to do some of your own chores, then enjoy.
“You are just like my ex/father”
Especially, if that your ex or your father leaves a lot to be desired. Comparison in any form is a touchy one when it comes to a man. So, it might be a good idea to stay clear of it. Besides, you would not want to be compared to his ex or even his mother. It does not matter if he is a better version of your ex or father.
Accept that he is an individual in his own right and deserves to be treated as a unique person.
“I can’t live without you”
That sounds desperate and in his mind, it translate to, ‘take flight.’ No guy wants a girl who defines her life by his dictates. It is all well and good, if you can stand on your own two feet and needing him once in a while but for your to rely absolutely on him. Then there is a problem
Ada found out the hard way. She had just started dating her ex then, love was practically seeping out from her pores, when she told him in a moment of weakness that she would rather die than not marry him.
That was the last time; she had a date with the guy. He left, he refused to pick her calls and when he finally did, he told her to consider him out of her life, as he was not ready to get married and did not want someone blood on his hands.
For once, just put yourself in the man’s shoes and see how it feels like when a lady confess undying love to a guy and ends with, “I can never do without you.” You actually feel as though someone had placed a burden on you.
“We need to talk”
Immediately, a man hears that, he goes into defensive mode, because whatever you are going to talk about will be something important and most likely, he will found in the wrong. So, he starts preparing his defence while you are busy pouring out your heart to him. He is not listening, he is thinking of what he will say in response. In the end, nothing is achieved from that, ‘we need to talk’ statement.
A better approach would be for you to try discussing the important issues when he is not expecting it and see his true reaction.
“Nothing is wrong”
This is almost a cliché. You can bet that almost every grown woman has said this to their spouse or boyfriend. And it is often said, when a woman is fuming and it is pretty obvious that something is wrong. The man is expected to probe further or better still read the woman’s mind but a smart man will know when to avoid a tsunami in the making.
“How do I look?”
This is the one million dollar question. You just bought a new dress. It was a beautiful gown but would have been better if it were a size or two bigger, not hugging your curves as it was and you know it too.
And by chance, your better half was present when you were trying it on. Strutting in front of him, you asked the dreaded question, “How do I look?” First of all, he gulped and started to think of a suitable answer in the shortest possible time. An answer that would not offend you but true and it must be delivered in the next few seconds.
The smart guy would say, “Dear, you look great in this dress, see the wear it’s hugging all your curves” and quickly finds an excuse to leave the room.
And the other guy might wait too long to deliver his judgement and met with another question, “do I look fat in it?” you would likely ask with a quizzical look on your face, as though the mirror lied. At this rate, there was no way; he could come up with the right answer. To save himself, he would gave an answer quickly and disappeared.
Ladies, since you cannot stand the truth anyway, assume in your mind that your man will say the right thing and spare you both the torture.
So, if you have been saying some of these phrases, you know what to do and if not, then it is better not to start.
Share the love and strengthen your relationship.