To make a woman change her mind about breaking up, you need to change how she feels, rather than trying to change how she thinks.
To change how she feels, you need to actively interact with her and make her laugh, smile and feel good when interacting with you, especially if she is being closed off or distant.
Laughter, smiling and feel good emotions bring her guard down, and when you’re able to make her feel that way when she’s being cold towards you, she will naturally feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction to the emotionally strong, attractive man that you’ve now become.
From there, you just need to guide her through the rest of the ex back process.
Without First Changing How She Feels, it Will Be Difficult to Get Her to Change Her Mind
Making a woman change her mind about breaking up is usually very easy when you simply focus on changing how she feels when she interacts with you, rather than trying to convince her with reasoning and logic.
For example: Right now, your woman might be saying things like, “It’s too late…there’s nothing that you can say or do to make me change my mind,” or “I just don’t love you anymore. You’re a nice guy and I know that you love me, but I just don’t feel like you’re the right guy for me any more.”
Hearing that, it sounds like you have no chance, but you do.
When you make adjustments to the way that you talk and interact with her so that you’re triggering her feelings of respect, attraction and love, she will naturally open up and be more willing to give you another chance.
All of sudden, her mind will begin to change as she looks at the new, improved you in a more positive light and realizes that she does have feelings for you and was wrong to say that she was over you and didn’t want to take you back.
She feels something for you now and no matter how hard she tries to ignore it, those feelings are filling up her heart and mind.
Mistakes to Avoid
Most guys need help to get an ex back because it’s not something that we are taught by parents, teachers or friends.
In fact, most people don’t know what they should say or do to successfully get an ex back.
So, out of desperation, some guys will make one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Trying to change her mind with gifts.
A guy might think to himself, “She is saying that I took her for granted, so maybe if I buy her a thoughtful or expensive gift, she will see how much she means to me.”
He might then buy her a bunch of red roses, or maybe even a special ring or pendant.
When he gives it to her, she might smile and look happy and thank him for finally putting in some effort to show her that he values her.
Yet, what he doesn’t realize is that these feelings are only temporary, and if he doesn’t do anything else to regain her respect and attraction for him as a man, she’s not going to remain happy for very long.
The fact is, a woman doesn’t fall in love with a guy because of what he can buy for her; she falls in love with him because of the way he makes her feel when she’s with him.
Yes, some women are gold diggers and only want a man who will buy them lots of pretty things, but those women are the minority.
Additionally, they don’t always love the guy who is buying them loads of gifts.
The majority of women fall in love with a guy based on his personality, behavior and inner qualities.
For example: Most will find it easy to fall in love with a confident, charismatic guy compared to an insecure, awkward guy.
It won’t matter if either guy doesn’t buy gifts. What matters the most is how she feels when she is around him.
Of course, a woman will smile when a guy buys her a gift, but ultimately, she’s likely going to be asking herself, “Do I really want to be with a guy who is trying to convince me to give him another chance by buying me gifts, even though he doesn’t know how to make me have feelings for him as a person?”
So, rather than wasting a lot of time trying to convince your woman to change her mind about breaking up with you by trying to buy her love back, focus instead on making her experience feel good emotions (e.g. respect, attraction, happiness) that will bring her guard down.
2. Being extra nice to her in the hopes that she will suddenly realize what a great guy he is and then change her mind.
Sometimes a guy will think that that if he’s really, really nice to her (e.g. does everything she wants him to do, is available to her every beck and call, sucks up to her, helps her pay her bills) she will suddenly realize that he’s too valuable to lose, and will change her mind.
Some guys might even say things like, “You will never find another man who can love you as much as I do” or “I would do anything for you. You only have to ask and it’s yours.”
A woman only appreciates that type of devotion from a man that she looks up to and respects, feels attracted to and in love with.
If she notices that he’s acting that way out of desperation, it will turn her off and she will lose respect for him, especially if he keeps trying to suck up to her even though she is treating him badly.
Here’s how it works…
If a woman has lost respect and attraction for a guy, she will find it difficult to allow herself to feel sexually attracted and romantically interested in him, even when he is being extra nice to her.
A woman doesn’t want a guy to tell her how valuable he is as a guy. Instead, she wants to feel it for herself.
She wants to wake up in the morning and feel excited to be talking to him and interacting with him, rather than feeling like she’s doing him a favor by being his girlfriend (fiancé or wife).
So, even though there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a good guy and being nice to a woman, it’s not what’s going to get her to change her mind about breaking up with you.
3. Sending her long letters, e-mails or texts to explain his feelings.
Sometimes, when a guy is trying to tell a woman how much he cares for her and she is refusing to listen to him, he will attempt to get through to her by writing her a long letter, sending her a long e-mail, or sending multiple long text messages to explain his feelings.
However, this rarely causes the woman to change her mind. Why?
Firstly, a guy can pour his heart out to a woman and tell her how much he loves her all day long, but if she doesn’t have feelings for him, she won’t care how much he cares for her.
It just doesn’t matter to her because she doesn’t have feelings for him.
A woman only appreciates and loves it when a guy expresses his love for her if she has feelings for him.
If he has turned her off and killed her respect for him, she’s going to feel annoyed and even repulsed when he starts pouring his heart out to her.
Secondly, when a woman can’t see a guy’s body language, hear the tonality of his voice, or assess his vibe and energy in the moment, she then has to guess at how he was feeling when he wrote the letter, e-mail or text.
Rather than reading the message and thinking, “Wow! That’s so sweet. My guy really loves me. Maybe I’m being too hard on him by wanting to break up. I think I’ll give him another chance. He’s just so sincere, loving and sweet. He obviously cares about me! How silly of me for not seeing that. I just have to give him another chance now,” she will most likely be thinking, “I know that you mean well, but I just don’t want to be in a relationship with you anymore. I don’t feel the same way as you do.”
What most guys fail to remember is that she can’t experience the new and improved him via a text, e-mail or letter.
She has broken up with him and hasn’t yet experienced the new and improved version of him, so she will read the message and imagining it coming from the exact version of him that she recently dumped.
So what should you do if you want to make your woman change her mind about breaking up with you?
Only text her as a way to get her on a phone call with you, where you can then actively make her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you again.
From there, get her to meet up with you in person and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved man that you are now.
4. Asking her to give him a chance because he doesn’t know what he will do without her.
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that a woman should take pity on them, or give them a chance because they are truly in love with her, are feeling lost without her and will do anything to fix the relationship.
For example: A guy might say something like, “I can’t live without you in my life. You are my reason for being,” or “Without you my life is over. You’re the only woman for me and without you I’m lost. I’m not interested in other women. I just want you.”
He hopes that it will make her see that she is so important to him and therefore, it must mean that they are meant to be together.
Yet, if he hasn’t first reactivated her feelings of respect, attraction and love, she’s just not going to care about how much he cares.
If she were to get back with him, it would feel like she’s doing him a favor and losing out because he still hasn’t worked out how to be the type of man that she wants and needs.
A woman doesn’t want to stay in a relationship out of pity, and most women also don’t want to be a man’s reason for living.
The majority of women are attracted to the emotional strength in men (e.g. his confidence, his ability to rise through the levels of life to achieve his biggest goals and ambitions no matter how difficult things get) and turned off by the emotional weakness (e.g. is self-doubting and insecure, uses his relationship as an excuse to hide from his true potential in life).
So, when a guy is asking, begging and pleading with a woman to give him another chance because he doesn’t know what he’ll do without her, rather than convince her to stay, he is actually causing her to lose even more respect and attraction for him.
For a woman to want to stay in a relationship with a man, she has to be able to respect her man and look up to him, not feel like she has to take care of him because he needs her for emotional security and for his sense of identity in this world.
5. Thinking that all the good times that they shared should be enough for her to realize that the relationship is worth fighting for.
In the distant past, a woman was considered to be a man’s property.
He essentially owned her and could treat her how ever he wanted.
Yet, today’s world is different.
A woman can now decide to be in a relationship or leave a relationship based on how she feels.
In other words, as long as a woman is feeling the way she wants to feel in the relationship, she will choose to stay with her man.
However, if she starts to lose too much respect and attraction for him, she can then choose to break up with him because he doesn’t own her and she can do what she pleases.
A common mistake that some guys make is think that all the good times they’ve shared together in the past should be enough for her to realize that the relationship is worth fighting for now.
Unfortunately, that’s not the way that the ex back process works.
Your woman will want to get back with you if you can reactivate her feelings and begin to build on them, rather than trying to convince her that things could be good again if she just gives you another chance.
Here’s what you always need to remember about relationships in today’s world…
In a modern relationship, it is a man’s responsibility to maintain and grow the love, respect and attraction between him and his woman.
If he fails to do that and instead begins to behave in ways that are unattractive to her (e.g. takes her for granted, becomes needy, clingy and insecure, allows her to be the dominant one in the relationship and make all the decisions) she can decide to break up with him if she wants to.
The only thing that will make your woman realize that your relationship is worth fighting for, is when you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, so she can then reconnect with her love for you.
She will then begin to feel that she will be losing out if she breaks up with you and doesn’t give you another chance.
That’s how it works.
Any other strategy will never work as well as that, no matter how much you try to plead with her or convince her.
Ignoring her, trying to convince her and trying to suck up to her are failing strategies that cause most guy’s to lose their ex and have to move on without her.
If you want her back, you’ve got to focus on changing how she feels.
When you interact with her and actively make her have feelings for you again, her guard will come down and she will naturally begin to change her mind about the break up.
You don’t have to convince her to change her mind.
Instead, you simply need to focus on triggering her feelings of respect and attraction and she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love that she once felt for you.
Once that happens, she will be open to giving the relationship another chance and you and her will be back together.