Single & Loving It

ll_34Yes. You read right! No, we are not crazy. Of course, you can be single and enjoy every bit of it. That is not to say that if Mr. Right knocks on the door right now, you should not jump on his horse (assuming he is the cowboy from that romantic novel you were just reading) and ride into the sunset with him. But hey, what’s to do while he is still polishing his boots, feeding the horse or waiting for his shining armor to come in? There is no need to moan, bitch, nag or sob about it. He is coming, he is just taking his time, and you might as well enjoy this time you have all to yourself.

The Down side

With everything, there is a positive and negative side. It can be lonely being single. Walking into an empty house after a long, stressful day at work with no one to share your feelings with, can be disheartening. When you attend social events and everyone around is all loved up, it’s not nice being the odd one out.
Loneliness can hit you when you’re distressed and don’t have a man to pamper you and reassure you that everything will be OK. It’s no fun going to bed alone, night after night. On those cold December nights, I would love to have someone to cuddle up next to.

Despite all of those things, I’ve come to the conclusion that you can be happy being single. Life is what you make it.

The Up side

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It is the first rule of love…you have to love yourself first. I mean, if you can’t stand being alone with you, why would anyone else want to be alone with you? Even Jesus Christ said “Love your neighbor as you love yourself’. In other words, for you to love your neighbour, you have to love yourself first. Spending time going on dates with yourself and getting to know you better, helps you to realize just the kind of person you are. You are more inclined at discovering your likes, tastes and turn ons; thus when you meet a potential partner, you can tell if he/she is what you want. That way, you save precious time that would have been spent on a bad relationship… not to talk of the emotional rollercoaster. A lot of us can’t spend ten minutes alone. We either on the phone chatting, on instant messenger, chat rooms, hanging on to friends, co-workers and family, or browsing and reading celebrity gossip. No, none of these activities are bad, but you know what they say about putting your happiness is someone else’s hands? You wind up unhappy. Period.

The Pressure Within And Without

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There are socio-cultural pressures/judgments/beliefs associated with being single that often weigh heavily on single people. In our culture there is a very real pressure, whether spoken or not, to be married; an expectation that at a certain point in life, people should want to be married. However, it is not always the external pressure or presumptions that are the hardest for single people to bear or the most dangerous. Often, the toughest challenges and most significant pressures of being single come from within.

Give yourself a treat

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Why do you have to wait for a friend before you see the latest movie at the cinema or go wine-tasting or have dinner at that new fancy restaurant? Who says you can’t go on your own and have a great time for yourself? Trick is, you tend to meet new fun people when you are out alone, than when you are in a group. When you are at the dinner table alone, simply enjoying every munch of that delicious food, chances are, Mr. or Mrs. Right might just approach you and ask “is this seat taken?” When you are in a group, you are fenced off and someone admiring you would probably only do so from a distance, never getting the chance to talk to you. Another point to note is that spending time alone with yourself boosts your self-esteem that probably got smeared from your last relationship. You realize that even though your ex failed to mention it, you are actually beautiful and intelligent. You discover that you are a fun person to be with, and you know that anyone who has you, is lucky. So your self-esteem skyrockets. Now, you know your value and you walk with your head high. Chances are, you would meet the right person soon…because confidence attracts.

Enjoy your freedom now that you have it

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There is nothing as enjoyable as being accountable for you and only you, and not having to answer to or take care of someone else. You don’t need to clean up, cook for, pick up, follow up, schedule with someone else. You can choose to eat fried chicken and chips for dinner if you darn well please. You do not come home to a messy bed or sink filled with dirty plates, when you know you cleaned just before leaving the house. When you walk through the door, everything is as you left it. There is no better time to travel, just for the fun of it, get a spa treatment because you feel like it, eat breakfast on the beach and have dinner in bed while watching your favorite series; than now that you are single!

Appreciate your peace of mind

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We have all being in that relationship that is so drama-filled and emotionally-intense; that it should be a relief that you no longer have to deal with that. Whether its the way she nags, or his drama or the baby mama issue or his mommy’s boy tendencies or her jealousy traits. Be glad you don’t have to deal with that anymore. You have your own space now, your own time and hopefully, your own money. Relish in this moment and cherish every second of it. You can turn the air-conditioning to whatever degree you please, you can spice up the food as much you feel, you can spend hours in the bathtub and no-one queries you for that. You can wear pajamas to sleep and you don’t need make up on weekends. There’s no one to impress, so you can be unashamedly you… real, flawed, beautiful and happy. You can be single and enjoy every bit of it.