This is not an admission many men would have made, but then this was man to man or rather from one buddy to another. Chidi and I have known each other forever, and he never imagined in all his life that, he was not going to be the one to make the first move with his wife. I’m sharing this story, so guys would stop feeling like they have to be the hunter all the time or that ladies, who show guys the green light were loose and no good. You just might be passing up a good lady.
Less than five years ago, a good friend of mine, Chidi and I were catching up at the end of a week. We talked and enjoyed our meal. The talk moved to the ladies in our lives, let me paraphrase that, the lack of ladies in our lives. We were both single and searching back them. That was when he brought up this strange lady, he had met at an event, whose eyes he had felt on him for a long time. He had looked at her and she had smiled, and waved at him. He waved back, thinking, they had met someone before and he couldn’t just recall where.
When the official part of the event was over and they could network. Chidi said, the lady, had made a beeline for him, and introduced herself as Sophia, handed over her card and made small talk for a while, before moving on to other people. No mention of where they had met before and he still couldn’t remember if they had indeed met before. He had looked down at the card on his hand; he had been intimidated by the qualifications after her name. He had tucked it into his pocket and forgot about it.
Exactly two weeks after that event. He got a call from Sophia, who offered him a contract that he had been sweating and trying to get for months. That was a coup. He was so excited; he drove over to her office after that call to thank her in person. This was a contract; he had merely mentioned in passing that first time they had met, he never thought anything was going to come out of it. But she had obviously, taken the matter to heart.
He went about executing the contract and that was when he had more time to get to know Sophia, who had to supervise the projects as a quality assurance expert.
The next time, Chidi and I talked about Sophia again, they were having a full blown romance, that even I was jealous of. As at that time, I was still single. The fact that by buddy was now paired up, made me more hungry for a relationship but it just wasn’t my time to get lucky.
As Chidi later confessed, if Sophia hadn’t shown interest in him at that event and had merely handed over her card, that he would not have called her. But then again, if she hadn’t called several weeks later with good news about something important to his work, he might not have called her either.
After those few times that Sophia took the lead, Chidi asserted himself and took over as the man in the relationship. His macho man upbringing would not allow him to let his lady pursue him.
As was later to be discovered, Sophia had just left a long term relationship and wasn’t looking for anything serious. She just wanted to have fun. Chidi had appealed to her at the event, because of his sartorial looks and serious look on his face, as he listened to the speakers.
The devil in her had wanted to distract the serious guy in the sharp suit and she knew the best way. If you focus your eyes on a person for a while, they would know and look in your direction and that was exactly what happened. Chidi looked and she had waved at him with a smile on her face. That was so uncharacteristic, but then, she didn’t want to behave true to character. Her uptight serious self hadn’t gotten her much, so it was time to do something else.
It worked. Chidi was ruffled by the fine chick, who was eyeing him up and down. He tried to get back to paying attention to the speakers; after all, he was going to do a report on the event later. He took notes absentmindedly, all the while intrigued by the lady, whose eyes, he could feel boring into him.
When he was the first person that she spoke when the networking started, he knew he was done for, that he needed to run. Never had he been chased so blatantly by a woman, but even though he was single, he was somewhat put off by a woman, who chased men. Her complimentary card did not make things easier.
He literally forgot about her, as far as he was concerned, Sophia was a no go area. There were too many things not working in her favour, most of who were tied to that first meeting.
The call and subsequently working together on a project changed all of that. For once, he threw aside his beliefs about a woman, who makes the first move and saw her for whom she really was.
Nowadays, Chidi does not count what Sophia did as first move sef. She was just messing with his mind, was what he called it. Interesting, his wife agreed that, she just wanted to mess with his mind, she was testing her feminine wiles on him, to see if she’s still got it, but I wonder, weren’t there other men in that place that she could have test ran her skills on, why did she pick on Chidi? Why was Chidi unnerved by the attention of a woman, he had never met?
I will keep wondering, because I have no answers and the couple too are unable to answer. And the answers do not really matter too. What does is, two people found each other, fell in love and are happily married, leaving me still single… not unhappily single. They provide fine example of young marriages for me.
The moral of this story is, who made the first move does not matter all the time, what matters is the love.
If you ever find that special someone, never let them go.