A cousin of mine was recently caught pants down, cheating on his fiancee. As the story goes, Emeka’s fiancee was supposed to be in Port Harcourt for a course, but apparently she returned earlier than her guy anticipated and paid him a surprise visit. Her excuse was that she was trying his number but she couldn’t reach him. Conspiracy theorists like my younger brother, Jude believes Tessy must have suspected foul play for a while, and decided to spring up a surprise on her fiancé, just to confirm things for herself. The night Emeka told us about this situation, them boys had a good laugh at him. First off, why bring a side chick home? Since time immemorial, women have been springing surprises whenever their instincts told them something was off. His excuse was that he thought his game was solid proof, since Tessy assured him she wasn’t returning till the following week. I had a good laugh as guys were throwing shades at my bro, but he deserved it though. Why propose to a girl to marry you, when you are not ready to be faithful?
When I asked Emeka this question, he scratched his head before responding “Ol’ boy, the temptation was strong. Home boy couldn’t resist”. The way he said made everyone burst into laughter again, and we laughed even more when Tunji, one of our pals, quoted The Bible and said something about God making a way of escape out of every temptation (1Cort10:13). Emeka started to narrate the series of event that led to him sleeping with the other girl, in a bid to convince us that any man in his shoes would have fallen. He said Vanessa was an intern as his place of work, and one time when Tessy travelled, he complained to her, over a light conversation that he was tired of eating out whenever his fiancee was out of town, and surprisingly, Vanessa offered to come cook for him whenever Tessy wasn’t around, so he wouldn’t starve. He jumped at the offer and pleaded with her to come cook for him the next day, a Saturday. Vanessa came as agreed, and just before she started cooking, she changed into a short satin gown. Emeka said, he had no intentions of doing anything whatsoever with her, so he simply showed her the way around his kitchen and sat to watch TV in the sitting room.
About two hours later, Vanessa came out of the kitchen with a tray of food and a glass of juice…but according to Emeka, his hunger for food disappeared and was replaced with pure lust. Apparently, Vanessa had sweated it out in the kitchen and when she emerged, her satin gown was soaked, revealing taut nipples as she wore no bra. My cousin said he couldn’t control the urge that swept over him. Vanessa, apparently reading his face dropped the tray on the centre table and came on to him. What resulted was an office affair, which he brought home anytime his fiancee was out of town. It seems as though Vanessa left tell-tale signs that Tessy picked up, and hence, the surprise return trip. Tessy has since moved out of Emeka’s house, after flinging his ring in his face and he has begged everyone to beg Tessy for him. He ended his narration with “I have promised not to misbehave again, if she can come back to me. I can’t be that foolish again. She is so hurt, she won’t even talk to me”. No-one dared laugh at him this time, the pain in his voice and on his face was legit.
Men suffer and struggle with sexual temptation, and I sometimes wonder why it is so easy for a woman to resist temptation than it is not so easy for us guys. I mean, we both have hormones, so if the ladies can control their own urges, why can’t we? I have come to the conclusion that it is often a matter of self-discipline and control. Some guys give the excuse about men being wired that way, but I can’t even understand that argument. Who wired us to be cheats and infidels? Definitely not God! God would not purposely wire Adam to hurt Eve; certainly not. And talking about wiring, I have never cheated on a woman before! Yes, I have broken hearts, but it has never been out of infidelity. I and so many other men out there hold out on our ends; so does that mean we have a different wiring than the average Tom, Dick and Harry? I think the reason men do not take loyalty too seriously is because we were raised to believe that it is a macho thing to cheat, as long as you don’t get caught. Emeka was feeling like a real G and must have even been bragging about it to some of his other friends, until the bubble burst.
I also believe selfishness is a major problem when it comes to men’s loyalty. When a temptation is set in front of you, and you have that bulge in between your pants and your only thought is satisfying your lust, of course, you would fall to temptation…again and again. On the contrary, if you immediately think about that faithful girlfriend who has done everything in her power to make you happy, who is equally beautiful and also faces temptations of her own but doesn’t fall, you would realize that it is the head that controls erections and that the penis doesn’t have a mind of its own, as many of us like to think. I have had countless erections that did not resist in sex, because I walked away from those temptations and called Johnny back to order. The fact that overcoming sexual temptation is more difficult for us men, because we get turned on by what we see, is not an excuse to be unfaithful. Granted, we have more sex drive than our female counterparts and we think about sex more than they do, and are also more easily stimulated. The daughters of Jezebel (like I like to call women who go after a man that they know is already taken) know this and use this against us, but then, what use is temptation if it isn’t tempting? What makes a man is not in his body count. It is his ability to resist temptations and stay faithful to the one he claims to love. I know it is not easy guys, but please let’s try. Let’s stop ladies from crying to bed because of us…yes, we can!