Before we go further, here’s a disclaimer, this is not my husband. I care a heck of a lot, about any hint of cheating, not to mention substantial evidence of cheating. This is about a discussion with a friend, who married one of those insanely handsome men.
He is tall, well built, really fair skinned, which he takes care off, hazel eyes that melt you with a look. I had better stop, as I’m describing a friend’s legally married husband. You get the drift though. He is one handsome bobo. In fact, he is so handsome; it was a turn off for Debbie, during the times he was asking her out. She described him as a man she would have to share with numerous other ladies, which she did not want to do.
It wasn’t until he proved himself over and over to be a one-woman man, did she give him any attention. Even then, she was not fully committed, until he asked for her hand in marriage, out of the blue, six months after they started dating. It was like the wake-up call she needed to know that this fine bobo was actually the real deal.
Surprising even herself, she agreed to marry him, and that was where their love story really started. He was always good to her. She realised that there was more than physical beauty to this man of hers, a truth she wished she had come to a lot earlier. Instead of the man, with whom she thought she would have to share her body cream, she found a macho man, who can be so rigid in his manliness, if not for his love for her.
She watched as he dealt with ladies, who threw themselves at him. He showed her off to anyone who gave him audience. Sometimes, she would pinch herself to be sure she was actually engaged to this fine guy, who only had eyes for her. He was a man who was well aware of his own beauty, but never took advantage of it.
Upon seeing him for the first time, Debbie’s dad had commented that he had always known his daughter had an eye for beautiful things. As that was the only way she could have brought home such a fine specimen of the male specie. Her grandma said, “Hmmm, this is how all men should look” right to his face. Who’s to stop a grandma, from saying exactly what she thinks. They worried though about his being faithful with the number of ladies eyeing him, and even men complimenting his good looks and physique.
At first, Debbie never posted images of her beau on social media, out of fear, but he had no such inhibition. Her pictures and couple images littered his social media timelines. When they got married, she relaxed and sometimes shared family images. She felt more secure in her marriage, and let go of any fears that she had regarding her husband’s fidelity. That’s the only reason she could have stated, as she had no reason to be concerned that her husband was going to cheat on her.
They had their baby two years ago, and it unleashed another layer of love in her man for her. She got almost everything she wanted. He was very hands-on with the baby, and that helped a lot, when the Grandmas left for their homes, after the traditional three-month visit. Whenever they went out, he was in charge of the baby, unless the baby just wanted its mom. Inevitably, it sometimes led to people wanting to take pictures with the “hot” dad.
So here are her reasons for sleeping easy at night, knowing her man wouldn’t step out on her. Some of her reasons might make you scratch your head and say “really?” but if it makes a difference in her life, then that was all that mattered.
First of all, he has sown his wild oats. Now you can take that literally or otherwise. Debbie believes that when she met her man, he was already a matured man, who had experienced life to the full, and was sure of what he wanted in life. He had dated babes of all colours and shapes, had had an active sexual life, and had left it all behind when he needed more, and only one woman to have his attention for the rest of his life. Cue Debbie, as she entered the picture. So, no worries from that angle.
Another reason is his family is very important to him. As said earlier, the birth of their child brought about another layer of his love for her, but it also brought out over protective tendencies in him. His Saturday evening family times are sacrosanct, even if they go out, they must be back home by 5pm for their family routine of movie-watching and gisting.
His child is his gem, he watches her with eagle eyes. Let’s just say, his family is important to him, he places priority on spending time with them, so no fancy skirt outside can replace that in his life.
Besides, he is a very strong willed person, who once, he has made up his mind, never changes it. She knows there are times, nothing changes his mind, and since, he had made up his mind to leave his bachelor life behind, he indeed forsook it and never looked back, not even to see what’s happening there. All he cares about is having a great family life.
As his job demands that he travels out of the country at times, Debbies says, he always calls her, no matter the time zone. She can’t even remember if she had called him, anytime he travels. It’s like they have a telepathy thing going on. Whenever, she thinks of calling him, his call would come through. Notwithstanding, he would still call at night to gist, to find out what they had for dinner, to ask if she had locked the doors, or if their driver had not started acting up again. The signal this sends is “Babe, I’m thinking of you, no matter the time zone.” When you are on someone’s mind all the time, do they have time to chase after other women? That’s the question, I was asked. Any guesses?
He actively dates her. Yes, as in arranges for them to go out to dinner, without the baby, or go for weekend get-aways, just the two of them, or with another couple. What that says is, “You are important to me, and I want to court you every single day.” Which woman wouldn’t like that?
They talk so much, she knows, when other women put the moves on him, because he tells her as soon as it happens, or as soon as they could talk. He is the type of guy who knows his wife’s weakness for clothes, and he indulges it like no man’s business. Her wardrobe is filled mostly with items that her husband bought for her. That’s how they roll. Let’s not forget the almost daily pizza run. When she complained she was getting fat, he registered them in a gym, and that has been one way they have been connecting on Saturday mornings, when they both go.
And lastly, he still finds her sexually attractive. Always ready go to where she’s concerned, not to mention touching her, any opportunity he gets. So, Debbie says, “Honestly, we’re doing okay, if he still finds me sexually attractive.” Who am I to think otherwise?
Let the love continue to bind and sustain them.
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.