Isabella is spending the weekend at my mom’s and so I have the house all to myself. I thought of asking some friends to come over so we can have like an extended sleepover and maybe, even throw in a pajamas party but I eventually decided against it. Sometimes, I just want to have a quiet time in solitude. That’s the essence of being a mature single, right? I was finally able to finish this amazing novel I have been carrying around all week. I walked round the house barefoot; glad to have everything the way I want it. Not having Isabella tell me to put the ice cream in the freezer, instead of the fridge. I am here wondering; what is so bad in being single? Some other people in my shoes look at it like there is something wrong with us. Like, we can’t be happy on our own; we need someone to make us happy. Well, I beg to differ. I can make myself happy. I mean, what spells disaster more than putting the keys to your happiness in someone else’s hand?
Happy by Myself
I love being single! I enjoy my own company and I can choose what I want to do, when I want to do it. I like sleeping on both sides of the bed. I enjoy not having to put the toilet seat up. I love sleeping in on Saturday mornings and not having to worry about making some man’s breakfast. I have a few great friends who love me for me, and add spice to my life. I enjoy baking and cooking for myself. I enjoy pampering myself, because I know just how I want to be pampered and I just go and do it. No need getting disappointed when someone doesn’t pamper me. Thankfully, the biggest problem of my life now is not money; so I do not need a man to take care of me. Suffix it to say that I am more concerned with Isabella moving from a C grade in Math, to at least B- and getting a big account for my company this month, than I am of getting a man. It is empowering to be able to do things for myself. To strive for excellence and not have someone who would feel intimidated by my success. I am so content being single, that it would take an awesome man to change my status.
Advantages of Being Single
Looking back over the years, from the time I was engaged to Isabella’s father, to the time I left that toxic relationship and now that I have been single for four years, I should give myself an applaud! I have done really well. My career looks great and I have an adorable five year old who loves me, and pulls my heartstrings daily. I have built myself a small detached four bedroom bungalow and I can afford to vacation every year. I have accomplished so much because I do not have any relationship that is draining out my energy. The time I would have spent bickering and arguing over some silly matter; I invest in my daughter, in my self-development, or in my work. Sometimes, women slow themselves down because they do not want to get ahead of their partners, and I think that’s pathetic! When I meet my soulmate, I would compliment him and not feed off him. He would know that I am with him because I want to, not because I need to. He can rely on me to take care of the house while he makes capital investments for our family’s future. Its a win-win for everyone!
Over the past four years, I have worked on my self esteem and grown from being a needy, scared girl to a self-confident, self-reliant woman. I believe I would be in a position to manage my future relationship better because I am no longer a scared, needy cat who gets jealous over who he is messaging on BBM or who is sending him friend requests on Facebook. Now tell me what man wouldn’t like an independent, confident lady who is respectful, cooks and cleans well and is very smart! You get the point? Being single is preparing me to be the best wife and home-maker I can be for my future husband.
The Growth Process
As a teenager, I was very needy, possessive, insecure and jealous. I thought that being in a relationship was the be-all and end-all of everything. I got my self-worth from being with someone, and if I broke up with a boyfriend, I was quickly on the rebound, looking for someone to fill in the vacuum immediately. I was scared of being alone, and when I was engaged to my baby’s father, I struggled hard to remain in a relationship that wasn’t healthy for me, simply because I wondered what the future would be like without him in my world. Now, I have grown to love myself, realizing that no-one can do a better job at that than I. I have learnt to love my own company; how do I except someone to enjoy staying with me, if I don’t enjoy staying with myself. There are days when I wish I was in a relationship, especially on Valentine’s Day, but I am quick to get my groove back, stay thankful for what I do have, and remain hopeful that at the right time, the right man would find me.
Are you single? What have your experiences been like and how do you cope when the pangs of loneliness comes? I hope to hear from you!