Men’s Corner: The Two Reasons, You Are Afraid Of Committment

Ask any guy about committing to a woman, any woman, and you’ll quickly see him starting to get nervous and uncomfortable. You may even hear him utter words like, “Why would I do that? There are so many great choices out there.” But why are men so afraid of commitment with all the beautiful, fun, sexy women in the world who would make great partners and wives? I ask men this question all the time, and their answers vary, but it usually comes down to two answers primarily.

First, some of them believe there are too many lovely ladies out there with a lot going for them to commit to just one—sad, but true. So why do some men think the grass is always greener on the other side and are so troubled about committing for fear of losing out on other opportunities? After talking to literally thousands of men and listening to their bravado, I’m still wondering what the real issues are. Is it insecurity or the need to be constantly reassured that they can get whatever woman they want? They talk about the need to experience something new and different. But, most women have the ability to be whatever they want to be if the man inspires her to want to. I meet happy couples all the time that demonstrate that they know how to mix it up and keep their mates “wanting” to come back for more.

Second, most men believe that once they commit to a woman things will change for the worse and she’ll stop doing the things they like and need. This second group consists of guys who would like to be in a committed relationship, but are extremely concerned about their women changing and taking away many of the things and qualities that initially attracted them in the first place–like sex and attention! The funny thing is when I ask women about these concerns most of them admit that they don’t try as hard as they once did after they are in a committed relationship or married. Due to a myriad of competing responsibilities like caring for children and homes while managing the demands of their stressful jobs and careers, they simply don’t have the time and energy to devote to their men when they get home. This is a real concern, and it happens both ways. Many men stop doing the little things that initially attracted their ladies to them as well. Neither one of you can afford to let that happen!

When you’re looking to settle down with someone, long-term, the key is to find a man who is ready to commit! Men will not commit until they are ready! If you force them into it, by giving an ultimatum, or tricking them with a pregnancy, they will resent you and make your life miserable over time. Wait until he is truly ready which will be demonstrated through his actions! If it takes longer than you expected, move on! There are still a lot of great guys out there hoping to meet a wonderful woman. But you must be able to reassure them that life only gets better with you over time and especially once you two are married. This is critical to the success of your relationship. Remember the same things it took to get your Baby to commit are the same things it takes to keep him committed and happy!


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