I often refer to the dating scene as being in the jungle. With men taking the role as the hunters and women playing the part of the prey, that aspect has changed quite a bit, but the reference to it being a jungle still applies. It is hard out there for a lot of people and if you are not at the top of the dating food chain it is even harder for you. What I have learned from life in general is that; if you don’t prepare yourself to succeed then you will eventually fail. That same concept applies to dating; you have to develop a healthier mindset in order to put yourself in a better position to succeed.
Here are 4 things you should do before going on your first date with someone.
First thing first begin with yourself. Men will talk all day about how crazy and emotional women are and women can write a dissertation on things that men could improve on. We spend so much time evaluating the other sex; we don’t actually evaluate the most important person in the relationship…ourselves. With that in mind, decide what type of person you are going to be, and the type of relationship/interaction you want to create. Even though it may have some fun moment’s freestyling your way through all your romantic interactions can lead to failure more often than not. It is best to have some sort of direction or foundation to build and create from.
So, before you accept a date, or go on a date, or talk to someone you may potentially date. Make the conscious decision to not judge them, and that you will simply observe and listen to them and determine if what they bring to the table fits in with who you are. It’s a jungle out there but we have become way too sensitive; not everything is about you. A person actions is based on how they view and approach life, which has nothing to do with you.Don’t take it personal! Your primary goal should be to find out whether or not they fit in with what you want to be as a person.
If time permits; try to hold at least one 30 minute conversation (on the phone) before your first date. And if possible try to have more than one conversation. For some this may seem like too much work, especially when it is much easier to just text. Well………nothing good comes out of being lazy. Not to mention you could possibly find out there isn’t a need for a first date in the first place. If you keep a person talking eventually they will tell on themselves. You can save a lot of time by holding a conversation or multiple conversations, you may find out they don’t want kids and you do.
Or you might find out they want exactly what you want, whether it be a serious relationship, or a relationship based off sex, in dating the more times you can observe a person behavior the better. Phone conversations can also enhance the first date experience by making them more comfortable and adding more excitement and anticipation if the conversations go well.
Whenever possible try to make the first date a day date. There are a wider range of activities to partake in during the day. Walks on the beach and in the park, festivals you can attend, and you don’t lose the ability to be romantic. One benefit of planning a date during the day is that it allows you to plan for multiple scenarios. Both parties can make a plan for a date that is going great or a date that is going bad, and anything in between. The time frame gives you the ability to plan an out, and by default takes away some of the first date pressures, such as, having to initiate or reject sexual advances.We all know that some people like an immediate ROI. Also with a day date, you have the ability to continue the date if both parties are enjoying themselves. Especially if there is a decision to give an immediate Return on Investment!
Men if you are taking a woman out plan the date. It benefits both parties if the guy plans the date. 1st he will determine the price range of the date, which is better for him to decide how to spend his money than for her to decide. 2nd women like to feel as though you put thought into the time spent with them. People remember how you make them feel, a way to make a woman