Society always likes to pose the question to single women? But what about men? Why are they single? Despite what people believe, there are a lot of single men out there.
Society still largely views men as the relationship pursuers, and therefore we assume if a man is not in a relationship it must be because it’s his choice. Despite what you may think about men, there are single men who desire a loving relationship; and that demographic is often overlooked.
Like women, men have some relational baggage too. And like women, these men also need to deal with that baggage. The challenge is recognizing the issue and dealing with it accordingly. Here are six main reasons why men are still single:
Due to the painful outcome of a past relationship, some men are gun-shy when it comes to trying again and exposing their heart (they aren’t always as tough as they put on). A past hurt may make them afraid to make a commitment and move forward in a lasting relationship.
This situation could lead to a “hurt you before you hurt me” scenario when a man strings a woman along until she ultimately leaves or is replaced by someone else. A man must heal from his past hurt to not allow fear to have power in his relationships.
Some men desire their mate to live up to a certain standard that no woman could realistically meet. A man may desire a mate who reminds him of his own mother but then adds other expectations to the equation, such as her appearance, dress, career, etc.
In this case, until the man is willing to accept a woman for who she is, he will never be satisfied and may never commit.
For an immature mind, the thrill of the chase seems more rewarding than the fulfillment of a loving relationship. These men will eventually have to come to terms with what they want from life. Are these short-term thrills in direct interference with your long-term goals?
Other men are more comfortable with playing games and leading women on instead of being honest, regarding their true wants and desires. These men often employ playground tactics to make themselves feel dominant/superior and therefore deserving of a woman’s affection. Until a man decides he is worthy of the relationship he desires, it will be a constant game of control and manipulation.
Like some women, some men don’t know or understand their role. In a relationship, a man should offer love, provision, stability and security (just to name a few).
However at times, it seems the roles have been reversed and the woman is the one providing these key factors. A man is a hunter and most often will not be happy until he is in his natural state of pursuing (hunting). A woman caught in his cross hairs while he is still trying to find his place in the world, will just be used and tossed aside.
Some men no matter the age are in bondage to their family (e.g. living up to the standard set for them, Mama’s boy, etc). Not until he is able to come out of the mighty grip of his family, he will never fully be free to live his life.
In this situation, these are deep-rooted issues, which at times might require therapy. Freedom is key in order for a successful relationship to occur.
Single Life Works
Lastly, there are men who like the company of women but love being single. This category covers two types of men. Those who are having fun and enjoying the single life and those who have no desire to be married.
Both types enjoy being single and the freedom it affords them. Honesty, is so critical for this category of men, letting a woman know that you aren’t ready for a committed relationship will help set the right expectations.
In the end, single men should be completely honest with the ladies—no matter where they find themselves on the spectrum.,
Women will appreciate them for it. A woman would much rather a man who says he is not looking for an exclusive relationship as oppose to a man who would lead her on. Honesty will make life easier—for him and her—and relationships will flow more smoothly because of it.
Male and female methods might vary, but we all desire love. Choose to be true to yourself and honest with those in your life. It makes for a very happy ending.
Culled from https://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2016/03/single-man-up-men-why-are-you-still-single/