So, your girlfriend gets hit on by other guys, even while you’re right there.
Somehow she thinks it is OK. But let some women hit on you, then we’re talking war. Women think only they are allowed to get jealous, only they are allowed to suspect us men of infidelity. That’s not fair, but that’s how it is. If you’re dating even a moderately hot girl, guys are gong to hit on her. Read on:
She’s hot! What else do you want?
Would you rather go out with an ugly woman whom no one pays any attention whatsoever? You should be happy that your woman is desirable to other men. Gives you bragging rights. Remember, you’re the one she’s with. She chose you over all the others who were vying for her affection. Feel proud to walk next to her and chuckle with delight at the envious eyes following you.
Try and understand
Every woman needs attention. If she gets it from other men, she feels attractive and wanted. Doesn’t mean she is tired of your attention. It’s a psychological thing for women, so you must allow them that, this confirmation of the fact that they are perceived as beautiful in the eyes of others. It is also a reminder for you that you should never take her for granted and that you should give her your complete attention whenever you’re with her.
Avoid jealousy at all costs
It’s harder said than done but try and keep your jealousy at bay. It will only lead you to irrational decisions. You don’t want to come across as being desperately possessive. Understand that she has chosen you for some reason, and she likes what she sees. But just like she had the option of choosing you, she is also perfectly entitled to choosing someone else, if she wishes to. So there’s no point in being jealous. The best thing you can do is continue to act the same way you did when you were wooing her. In her eyes, you’re the best, for the moment. Continue to display those qualities that made her chose you. If she likes the fact that you’re always on time for your dates, or the fact that you always make sure she’s comfortable, continue being that guy.
Physical attraction is not everything
We all get attracted to someone or the other. It’s the freshness, the excitement of newness that attracts us most of all. But it doesn’t last. A good, meaningful relationship is what counts in the end: about how much you know about each other, on what levels you connect, the respect, the commitment, the love, affection and care, about how much of yourself you’ve given to the relationship, how much you matter to each other. All these things will ensure that your relationship weathers all kinds of storms.
Trust, the cornerstone of every relationship
There ought to be trust in every relationship. Supposing her ex is in town and he wants to spend time with her. She checks with you. If you say, No, you’re denying her a fundamental right of choosing the people she wants to hang out with. If you say, Yes, you could end up constantly worrying about what the ex-lovers are up to. You just have to trust her. If there is mutual respect and love, trust will come easily. By saying yes, you also show maturity and that you’re not insecure. But if at a pub or a bar, some attractive bloke is hitting on your woman, you shouldn’t continue to sit by the bar and drink, nor should you act aggressively and pick up a fight. You should act casual and confident. Introduce yourself like you would normally, and show through your actions or words that the woman he’s hitting on is with you, that she is your woman. For example, you can say, Sweetheart, can I get you another drink? Or you can kiss her on the cheeks and whisper in her ears, Did I tell you that you look spectacular tonight? You want to be like someone flying a kite, holding it securely, but giving enough leeway.
Have a chat
If her being hit on by others bothers you that much, have a chat with her, instead of keeping it all inside. Tell her you know it’s not her fault if someone hits on her, and that you’re just sharing what you feel. Be candid about it. If you feel she flirts back sometimes, let her know that. Maybe she is just being friendly. Perhaps it would be better if you keep everything in the open, keep each other in the know.
To conclude, enjoy being in a relationship. It’s a good thing. Love each other with all your heart. Be communicative at all times.