Men’s Corner: 6 Ways You Can Make Your Lady Secure In Your Relationship

The number of “Amens!” and “PREACH!” comments I received from women when I posted this comment let me know that there must be some serious truth to this statement.

“Make her feel secure in your relationship and she will move mountains for you!”

As I began to think, I realized that as men we might have a slight disconnect between making our women feel secure vs. making her feel secure in our relationships or marriages. Sometimes as men, we believe that making our woman feel secure is about being willing to defend her from a guy that disrespects her, or being able to shield her from harm.  While jumping in front of cars, rescuing her from a burning building, or getting up at night to see “what that noise was” does make her feel protected there are still some things we can do to make her feel secure in the relationship or marriage. Let’s talk about some of those things…

Make Love to Her Like It Matters

One of the safest feelings a woman gets is when you are making passionate love to her. The key term there is PASSIONATE. She needs to know that it matters to you, not that you are just going through the motions. Passion creates a feeling of security…just watch how safe she feels when you hold her in your arms when you are done.

Don’t Gawk at Other Women When You Are Together

Okay I’m a guy… so I understand that we are visual creatures. But we all know there is a difference between looking at a woman and gawking at a woman. Part of making your woman feel secure comes out of how you respect her in public and gawking at other women is an easy way to not only hurt her feelings, but it won’t make her feel secure in your relationship. If you react like a teenage boy to an attractive woman when you are with her, she can only imagine what you do when she isn’t around.

Invest in the Family and the Children

Your family and children are of the utmost importance to your wife, thus the more vested you are in them…the more secure she will feel about your relationship. Watching you invest not just your money, but your time and energy into the family and children will make your wife smile with her heart. It will also speak to the strength of your relationship because of the team effort.

Don’t Make Her Compete!

When you asked her to be your woman, she obliged under the assumption that she wouldn’t be in competition for you with other women anymore. Now let me preface this by saying we should all continue to do the same things we did in order to get our mates.So, “falling off” is not acceptable. But she doesn’t want to feel the pressure from you. Always flirting with other women, not knowing what kind of boundaries to establish, and not protecting your relationship from the advances of other women won’t make her feel secure IN the relationship. It will make her feel like you always have one foot out the door, thus making it harder for her to go ALL IN!

Show and Tell Her!

Just like men want to feel appreciated, women do as well. Letting her know that you appreciate her work, her nurturing, her “domestic goddess” skills, and her mothering makes her feel secure in that she knows it’s not being taken for granted. I know as men we sometimes just want to SHOW, but sometimes she needs to hear you SAY it.

Be Faithful

Being unfaithful tears down so many of the protective walls of your relationship, but being faithful builds them up and fortifies them. Not allowing other people to enter into your relationship or union and not investing your physical and emotional energy into another lets her know that she can be completely vulnerable to you with her heart, feelings and sexual well being.

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