Loving An Older Woman; What’s The Big Deal?


My elder brother, Tobe had been single for about four years, after his fiancee passed on in an accident. We all wondered how long it was going to take him to grief and move on, it seemed to linger on forever. You can therefore imagine my pleasant surprise when the dude called me last Wednesday and said ‘OB, let’s hang out on Saturday, I want you to meet my girl!” Wow! Finally, my bro was moving on and dating again! I was elated and promised to make the date “I want to take her to mums’ but I need you to get along with her first, so you can have my back with Pops and Mom” I was like “sure, cool!”, although I couldn’t figure out why he would need my defense when he took his girl home because my parents are pretty nice people and not too picky. He made the arrangements and sent me the details, and I was surprised we were hanging out at a fancy restaurant. Apparently, Tobe was out to impress this new girl. I invited Chinelo, because I thought it was going to be more fun, and she was also eager to meet Tobe’s new girlfriend.

When Saturday came and we all met up, I could see why Tobe wanted us to get along; my parents were definitely going to give him a hard time. I don’t know why, but I had pictured his girl to be a lady of Chinelo’s age, a little younger or a little older; but here was a lady who looked and acted older than Tobe himself. Chinelo and I exchanged glances as we took our seats, and I made a mental note to ask Tobe her age later, while praying that she was much younger than she looked. As the date went on, Chinelo and I took a liking to Adaora; she had so much experience in everything and had a wit and humour in story telling. I could see why Tobe was smitten, her gorgeous smile and years and years of wisdom and wit, sense of humour, all balanced out with a sexiness that came from ultra confidence. I could almost sense my extremely beautiful girlfriend taking lessons from Adaora. When the date ended and we got into the car, Chinelo said “she is definitely older than him, but I like her. I would love to spend more time with her, I can definitely learn a thing or two”, “like what?” I asked rhetorically. “Let’s start with where she buys her perfume! That fragrance was everything!!” Nelo replied “I like a woman that is so confident and it oozes in everything she does, wear and says, without overpowering you. It’s so sexy”. I teased Nelo about crushing on a fellow woman, as we drove home, but all she said, were echoes of my thoughts.

I called Tobe immediately I got home to throw my questions, but apparently Adaora was spending the night at his place. “So things have gotten that serious?” I asked myself, as I dropped the call and made a note to call him on Monday when they were sure to be apart. My opportunity came on Sunday evening when Tobe called me to find out what my impression of Adaora was. “So she has left your place?” I asked, ignoring his “so what did you think of her” question. He told me she left early that Sunday morning and then repeated his question. “She is cool, but bro, how old is she please?” I asked. “Just cool? You didn’t think she is amazing?” Tobe replied. “Ok, fine, she is amazing but she looks old Tobe” I retorted, trying hard to control my impatience. “She is not that old” he replied “she is just three years older than I”. That put her at 36 “Mom is not going to be happy about this, bro?” I said quietly. He said he knew, which was why he needed me to defend him when the time comes. “But why someone older than you? There are younger girls out there, why someone who might not give you your deserving respect as a man?”

My brother paused before replying “Before Adaora, I tried dating some other girls, younger girls as you call them, but I found most of them to be shallow, needy, materialistic or plain desperate!” I was shocked and wanted to reply in defense of younger girls like my girlfriend but my brother was still talking “I never dreamed that I would fall in love with an older woman, but right now, I am asking myself why the heck I never thought about it earlier. Older women are more mature, the years of drama are long behind them, and a man like me can do without drama. All these young girls are still confused and trying to find themselves, Adaora knows what she wants and asks for it; I don’t have time to figure a woman out. And you cannot imagine how much I learn from Adaora on a daily basis! She is older and wiser, with lots of insight on life and business. Who needs a young woman that can’t save you from making a bad investment, that can’t even see the loops in a business deal?” At this point I said “I get you bro, but even the young ones would grow, won’t they? I bet Adaora hasn’t always been this wonderful, if not some guy would have snatched her and wifed her by now. You are not the only one with the ability to see gold

He agreed and continued “I am not saying dating a young woman is wrong, it works for some, it doesn’t work for others. I am not also saying that older women are perfect. Yes, they come with less drama, but you also have to deal with their high level of independence. For example, Adaora sometimes insists on paying for our date, and even as we are planning a trip now, she is insisting on paying for her own flight. I have to deal with that. It’s not all rosy anywhere, but I don’t like the stigma against dating older women. They are human too and should have a chance at love. Adaora worked so hard on her job and hardly had time to date. The few men she hooked up with left because they couldn’t handle her ambition and drive, which works well for me because I find an ambitious and driven woman to be utterly sexy. Their passion for life and what they do invigorates and motivates me” My heart was melting at this point, and then he adds “Did you know that Adaora had already resigned herself to fate, and said she thought she was going to either end up marrying a widower or adopting a baby to raise as a single mother. When she told me, I laughed and told her I am almost a widower since I lost my fiancee in an accident”. I could tell that my brother was smitten and happy with Adaora, he had won me over, and I was sure he was going to get our parents on his side too. Really, what’s the big deal?

Before the conversation ended, Tobe also made me understand that older women tend to be more appreciative of relationships; they would hardly break up with you over a silly reason like not showing up for her parents’ anniversary or forgetting her birthday. They are also more willing to make sacrifices for the relationship; understanding that a mutually beneficial relationship was more likely to work out. Oh well, my young girlfriend works perfectly for me; that’s because she is wiser than her age though, and I am patient enough to deal with her drama. But if a guy falls in love with someone older than him, it shouldn’t be a big deal, right?

What do you think?






Photo Credits


2. www.communityjournal.net

3. www.seekingcougar.com


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