Have things fallen into a routine? Can you tell when he is going to turn you over or has she given you a timetable for sex? Sex with the same person can eventually become predictable, and although there is a comfort with being familiar with a loved one and knowing all their spots and highlights, it can get boring if it is a dish cooked severally with the same recipe. If you are at the point where either you or your partner or you both can yawn during a romp, then something needs to be done… and fast too.
Try experimenting with different positions (Exciting Sex Positions) and spring in surprises. Talk about your sexual fantasies and see what you both can do to make some dreams come true. Change your attitude in bed…in fact, change the spot of intimacy; explore other rooms in the house. The couch, the dinning table, the floor, the kitchen, the bathroom. Get creative and invent new ways of doing things.
If your partner has stopped doing his or her share between the sheets, first try a subtle approach. Start by praising him/her for what is working, and reaffirm your positive feelings. Then playfully lament how much you miss his or her trademark move in bed, whether it’s a turn, twist, or tweak. A friendly reminder that it takes two to tango may be all that’s required. If that doesn’t work, go for a more straightforward approach. Gently tell your partner that you’ve noticed he or she doesn’t show the same initiative and ask why. If no explanation is forthcoming (and if you’re certain there are no medical issues), be honest about how his or her lack of enthusiasm in bed is taking the fun out of sex for you, too. If your partner is invested in your relationship, he or she will step up to the passion plate. Meanwhile, it may be a good time to review your own rambunctiousness. A lazy partner isn’t worth the effort, in or out of bed.
A Negative Body Image
Over time our body changes; women get pregnant and give birth, both parties age. We gain weight and lose our hair. Health problems and everyday stress also take their toll on the body. Our fitness levels go up and down. These changes can make couples self-conscious about their bodies, prompting them to cover up more and have sex less.
To improve body image, couples should share a healthy lifestyle. Eating right and working out together, would not only increase your life span and improve your sex life, but will also give you better esteem and a positive attitude which affects your relationship positively in the long run. While at it, it is also important to compliment each other’s appearance and desirability, and make your partner feel comfortable around you.
This age of social media and smartphones has changed the dynamics of everyday living, and if particular care is not taken, laptops, phones and tablets can sneak into your bedroom and cramp your couple’s time. Chatting, surfing the web, updating Facebook or sending out tweets instead of cuddling or gisting with your partner, sends across a message that you no longer find your partner as interesting.
Make a bedroom a technology-free zone. Keep your phone at bay and on silence when you are spending quality time with the ‘bae’ and if you must get on the internet, do so together. There is no harm in reading trending tweets or watching funny Youtube videos together. The key is to keep the focus on your partner.
Ignoring the Connection between Emotional and Physical Intimacy
The way a couple treats each other outside of the bedroom has a direct effect on the quality of their love life. Angry sex should only be but once in a while. Strengthen your relationship by improving communication, prioritizing couple time, making your partner feel appreciated, and approaching conflict with humility, an open-mind and a team-player mentality. Replace the criticism or contempt in your voice with a respectful, affectionate tone. Do the “little things” that you know will help your partner have a happier day. It’s your best bet for a hotter night.
Good old-fashioned fatigue is a leading bedroom complaint of today’s busy couples. To combat it, approach your bedtime routine as a team. Find out what works. If you realize that you are both fatigued at the end of the day because of work, traffic and chores, then try sleeping early and doing a morning romp. If its the kids that get you tired every night, then considering sending them to a relative for holidays or even just a weekend.
If its your partner that is often fatigued, see what you can do to help alleviate the stress for him/her. Sex is at best when both partners are mentally and physically turned on. A naughty text during the day can help set the mood for night play and give him or her something to think about while at work. Never underestimate the power of motivation to a tired soul.
Un-balanced Sex Drives
Sometimes you want him every day a week, while he or she is fine with three times a week; it is important to strike a balance. If you’re the one with a naturally higher sex drive, don’t pester your partner, whine when you don’t get it, criticize their lower drive or threaten to get sex elsewhere. Act like a grown-up. If your drive is exceptionally high, some “alone time” can take the pressure off your partner.
If you’re the one with the lower drive, recognize that there is a connection between physical and emotional intimacy, and that your partner’s reasonable and respectful requests for sex are important to your bond as a loving, long-term couple. There is no magic number. The key is balance.