Helpful Tips

Map out what your routine and responsibilities will look like and be fair to both parties

If you are the working party, see where you can help out at home. By sitting down and reviewing tasks, couples can easily delegate to each other and work in unison.When you’re figuring out fairness, remember that a relationship requires give and take. “For example, the husband of a client who is a teacher really steps it up during her grading periods and she picks up the slack when he travels for work,” Marter said.


Focus on the big things and don’t sweat the small stuff. If you are the kind that wet-mops her house on the daily, now that you have a baby, you can mop thrice a week, instead of everyday. Trying to add new tasks to all the old ones would only get you fatigued.

Lower your standards

“The transition to family is simultaneously joyous, miraculous and wondrous and one of the most challenging life experiences and opportunities for growth,” It helps for couples to have realistic expectations about parenthood and their relationship and to remain committed to working as a team.

Sleep when your baby sleeps

This can be hard to do because there is probably laundry waiting or dinner that needs to be cooked, but it is important that you rest before the baby wakes and demands your full attention again. Cut down TV time and rest instead.

Get help

Ask loved ones for support and if you can afford it, hire a help or a nanny to either help with household chores or look after the baby while you get things done. Don’t try to be Superwoman or Superman; you would only end up with a sore back and a resentful spirit.

Work as a team

Breastfeeding moms can pump so their partners or loved ones can take turns to feed the baby while they rest. Be sensitive to the need of your partner and offer support when you know it is needed.

Put things in perspective

Understand that the dynamics have changed and view the decline in intimacy as a normal phase that you would get past, not as a permanent problem. Be close and intimate in other ways such as cuddling, kissing and touching.

Work on your emotional connection

When there is a decline in sexual intimacy, emotional intimacy can help bridge the gap. Spend at least twenty minutes together daily and communicate on something other than the baby. Get someone to babysit once in a while, so you both can have couple time. Emotional intimacy would keep you going until the sex gets back on track.