Love & Parenting

ll_28Some schools of thought believe that a married couple should wait for a couple of years before trying to have a baby. The promoters of this theory believe that throwing a baby into the mix too early can affect the bond of the couple; but if they spend enough time alone together and build a really strong relationship; when the babies comes, they would shake, but they would not be broken. Many of us go into marriage and instantly want to have babies, but are we ready for the pressure that parenting puts on relationships? Many couples are often ignorant of this and end up surprised just how much a baby changes their relationship and in fact, every component of their lives; spiritual, social, emotional, physical, sexual, financial and psychological. According to Joyce Marter, LCPC, psychotherapist and owner of Urban Balance, whether it’s your first or fourth child, your relationship still sees a jolt. As Marter so aptly puts it, “The first child most often brings about the greatest life and relationship change, but each subsequent child affects a couple almost exponentially, widening the scope of responsibilities and compounding family and relationship dynamics.”

According to the Gotten Relationship Institute, within three years of their child’s birth, about 70 percent of couples experience a significant slump in their relationship quality. No, we are not attempting to scar you; having children can and does bring couples closer together, but it also can cause a major strain if you’re unprepared for the potential pitfalls. Knowing these pitfalls and using the pointers below, while having realistic expectations helps a great deal.