Jays’s Dating Diary: My Second Date

20th Jan.2012

Guy Profile
Name: John
Age: 28
Height: 5.8½
Occupation: Store Operations
Location of date: Banana Tree, Angel, London

How I met John
I was introduced to John by a nice lady, who I met last year. She thought we might be interested in each other and gave him my number to call me after gaining my permission.

Communication duration before talks of a date
John and I spent just over a week communicating with one another on the phone and via blackberry messenger (bbm) before I hinted that we should go on a date.

Initial thoughts of John
When John first called me I thought he sounded quite nice. I have a thing for voices. The deeper a guy’s voice, the more attracted I am to him. His voice wasn’t extremely deep but he sounded like a man and not a boy or in some cases an annoying one. We had a nice conversation and he seemed keen to get to know me some more. We took each other’s contact details, i.e bbm pins and I added him on facebook and he accepted my request. When I first saw his pictures, I have to admit that it didn’t make me like him anymore. Instead it made me hold back a bit because he looked short. Height is the second thing that can really make me more attracted to a guy. I think at the moment my preferred height for a potential partner is anything between 5.11 and 6.4. Anyone who knows me can pretty much guess why I prefer tall guys. I love my heels and I want to be able to look up to my man even with heels on. I don’t want to have to buy heels that are only 2 or 3 inches high or be subjected to a life full of flat shoes.

As our first conversation went quite well, John and I pretty much contacted each other at least once a day on bbm from there on. A number of days but less than 2 weeks later I actually started warming more and more to him. He seemed like a real nice person. I think I even mentioned to someone that I was really looking forward to a date with him. At that stage I should have touched wood because things started to change for me. The more I learnt about him the more I thought: ‘No, I don’t think he is for me.’ He mentioned things that made me question his attitude and beliefs. For example, he mentioned that he once had a girlfriend that did things that he didn’t like and he was even persuaded by his friends to leave her. He chose not to end the relationship for a while because he wanted to wait for when they got married before trying to change the things that he didn’t like about her. This kind of thinking doesn’t go down well with me at all. I mean, I agree that once you get married, you should cut down certain things and think more about how your actions may affect your partner. What I don’t agree with is for you or your partner to attempt to change things about you that were obviously a part of you before you got married. You got married for better or worse NOT I will put up with what I can and change the rest. I was really uncomfortable with that statement and I made it known to him that you cannot change people, you’ll only just end up changing yourself. People change because they want to not because it has been imposed on them.  Now less about my prior thoughts of him before the date.

Pre-date arrangement

Like date 1 it was difficult to decide where to go for this date and because I want things to flow as naturally as possible I tried not to insist greatly on what we should do. After going through a few options on the phone and not reaching a decision we agreed to both go away and think of more options. By the day before the date neither of us had come up with anything so he mentioned that we should just go for a meal and see what happens after and I happily agreed. We agreed to meet somewhere quite local to me at 20:30 because he was driving.

The Date

At 20:14, John sent me a bbm message, asking if I was at home. I said yes and he made his way to our agreed meeting point. At 20:40 he sent another, asking if I was at the meeting point and I said no because I didn’t expect him to be there by then because of where he was coming from. After a couple of minutes, I sent him another message, asking him to let me know when he was 10 minutes away. To my surprise he was already there, so I left home immediately and I got to the meeting point within 10 minutes.

Locating each other once at the meeting point wasn’t straightforward at all because he was searching for me in a different area from where I had actually arrived. He thought I would arrive by bus because he didn’t realise how close I live to the meeting point. Anyway when we finally found each other after my numerous waves in the air, in hope that he would find the weird person waving, he spotted me.

 

When he came closer, we hugged each other and proceeded to the direction of his car. On the way there we passed some nice cars and some average cars. Every time we came close to a nice car I hoped it was his but no we kept on walking pass and finally stopped by a car that in my opinion was the least attractive of all of the cars at the parking lot. Anyway that doesn’t matter. What matters is that he can get from A to B and besides at least he’s got a car. I can’t say the same for myself.

 

When I first saw him I thought he looked much nicer than I had anticipated even though he was short as expected. He was dressed casual smart; more casual than smart in my opinion. After 2 dates of not being impressed by my dates attire I’m starting to think my expectation of guys attire to dates may be too high, but I don’t want to lower my standards. I have been on dates where guys have really made an effort with their attire and I appreciated them for it. After these two dates I appreciate them even more for making the effort.

 

In case you are wondering what he had on; he had black jeans and a black jumper on. I didn’t really pay attention to his shoes because the upper layer failed to impress. I must say he was dressed better than Date 1, but because I am really into guys who wear suites, the very casual smart look didn’t do it for me. If he had a nice jacket on with the jeans and some nice shoes on like one of the pictures on the side and  below I definitely would have been impressed.

Moving on, he was a nice gentleman all the way through the date. He held the car door open for me each time I got into it and assured me that he was my bodyguard for the evening. In other words I should feel completely safe because he had my back. He was willing to try Banana Tree’s not so Chinese menu, even though he wanted Chinese food and paid for both of our meals. The conversation in the restaurant was ok. We weren’t engrossed in any particular topic and there were a few silent moments that I had to break each time. After the main meal and one round of drinks we left Banana Tree. He dropped me somewhere near to my house and I walked the rest of the way home.

Like Date 1, I don’t feel any romantic feelings for John. The date was very mediocre. I don’t think it will be on the list of my most memorable dates out of the 26. It definitely hasn’t put me off blind dating but I think the next time I go on a blind date I will try to do something more active.

 

If there’s anything that I’ve missed out readers please leave me a comment below and I will reply as soon as possible.

 

Thanks for reading My dating year – Date 2

Culled from http://mydatingyear.blogspot.com.ng/search?updated-max=2012-03-31T18:35:00%2B01:00&max-results=7&start=14&by-date=false

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