Jay’s Dating Diary 24: Two-faced!

9th December, 2012

The year is about to come to an end and I’m still single, not a surprise but I just wanted to mention it. Wow, I can’t believe the year I’ve had. A lot of ups and downs, with each experience making me a stronger person. I don’t want to reflect on the year just yet because I’m saving that for my very last post on my dating year, I can’t wait.

I have to say getting into a serious and meaningful relationship seems like playing the lottery to me these days. The odds of picking the right persons seem so low because there appears to be so many wrong people in the right clothing. I sometimes feel to ask those who are in meaningful relationships: ‘how did you find each other?’, ‘what procedure did you take?’, ‘what type of complications did you go through at the beginning and what made you stay with each other even after the difficulties?’

I’ve come to realise that a lot of people have issues. I know this is common knowledge but I didn’t really realise the extent to this epidemic until now. I know some of you are probably thinking this girl is a drama queen and wanting to lol. After you’ve done that just think back to when you first realised a fact of life that was always prominent but didn’t sink in for you until one sudden day when you stopped and thought WOW, is this really how the world/some people are? If you did the exercise properly you might now appreciate why I said a lot of people have issues. The types of issues that I’m talking about affect people in all areas of their lives but can be a big roadblock when dating and looking for a special somebody to settle down with.

Ok, a good amount of people have issues and a lot of the time you can spot the issues before they come close or just as soon as they do. The people I’m referring to here are the ones who are so good at hiding their issues that you almost feel to do a 360° turn so you can play the whole situation in your head again to try and understand what just happened. The types of things that make these people qualify as having issues can be very little but it’s just the fact that they disguise the slightly mental behaviour and show a completely different side to them until the day they erupt over silly little things. Yes there are lots of fake people. This breed of people that I’m talking about is different from the fakes. They don’t seem to be driven by malicious motives. In fact I don’t even think they have motives for their actions a lot of the time. They just snap and I don’t think they can explain why.

Reading the previous paragraph back to myself, I feel as though I’ve described a group of people who may actually have a minute form of mental illness and don’t even know it. In essence we could all have some form of undiagnosed medical issue come to think of it. A lot of the time it’s hard for us to see our faults for what they are. We often need someone with good intentions to give us a true reflection of our not so pleasing sides.  The point of this post anyway is how do you deal with people with undiagnosed issues when trying to peruse a meaningful relationship with them? Readers if you were dating someone and realised they had a slight issue, and if isolated could be disliked for it, but when considering the complete person, and all of their wonderful traits they don’t seem so bad, what would you do?

To say I didn’t realise the extent to the epidemic is a bit of an exaggeration, I know, but a lot of things appear as an epidemic when you first become aware of them. They do to me anyway. Even though it’s not an epidemic I think as a society our tolerance of other people’s issues when it comes to dating is an epidemic. In the old days a lot of people found someone within their community and just dealt with the good, bad and ugly side to the person. Personally I think that’s because they didn’t know any better; not like us who live in a fast paced digitalised world. We can get to a lot of places more easily and quickly. Some of us even go to other continents to shop and source some of the essential beauty kits to maintain the celebrity look that will raise a lot more eyebrows if the guy we are dating is acting up. In a world where we can get things faster without dispensing much energy and also go further afield if needs be, is it a waste of time to tolerate some people’s unexplainable issues when we could easily move on to the next guy or is that the key to achieving the type of relationship that a lot of people are seeking for whilst moving from one failed relationship to another?

I really hope I haven’t offended anyone with this post. I’m just sharing my thoughts out loud so readers please don’t take any offence if you think differently to me. I would be more than happy to read your thoughts on this topic below.

 

Culled from http://mydatingyear.blogspot.com.ng/

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