Sometimes when you’re getting serious with someone you find yourself wondering about their past. How many long term relationships have they had? Why did their last girlfriend dump them? How many people have they been with?
How many sexual partners you’ve had is, in fact,a totally pointless question that will only result in one of you judging the other, or feeling hard done by. But, we insist on asking it, which is probably why IllicitEncounters.com is just the most recent place to investigate the question. They polled 1,000 people, and the consensus? 10. Apparently the ‘perfect’ number of partners to have had is a nice round 10. Which is practical – it leaves room for a few casual relationships, a couple of one-night stands and a couple of more serious ones. It’s a number which implies you’ve experimented a bit but not that you’ve dedicated every waking moment to finding someone to have sex with.
It will come as no surprise that the men who were quizzed registered that they would be put off by any woman who had had more than 10 sexual partners, whilst women said they’d be bothered by more than 20. So double standards are alive and well, then. Hurrah.
Honestly, the magic numbers game isn’t one that it’s worth getting into with your other half, but if you are going to do it, try to go in without judgement and to understand why it’s important for you to know. Is it because you want to understand your other half’s past? Because talking about first jobs, pets and heart-breaks is going to be a lot more illustrative on that front than a list of names.
Of course, it’s sensible to know about the person you’re sleeping withs sexual health and their wants and needs, but chatting about STI testing, fantasies and turn-offs doesn’t mean knowing everyone they’ve been with in their life. It’s normal to want to leave the past in the past, and it’s healthy to allow your partner some privacy about their life before they met you.
If you’re sure that you want to ask the question, you need to be sure that you’re ready to hear the answer. Are you going to be cool with them having slept with way more or way fewer people than you have to? Or will you start to think that they’re non-promiscuous or inexperienced? And maybe even more importantly: are you sure that the person you’re dating is suitably non-judgemental? Though on the upside, if the person you’re dating does take issue with how many people you’ve been with, then they’re almost certainly not the person for you.
Culled from http://www.marieclaire.co.uk/news/world/554184/we-ve-settled-on-a-perfect-number-of-sexual-partners-apparently.html