The Love Lint – Relationship Forum and Dating website in Nigeria › Forums › Breakup Forum › How much is too much?
August 9, 2015 at 10:51 AM #1888
What’s your take on this? How long should you stay in a bad relationship before you take a walk? They preach about relationships going through a rough patch and couples working things out, and I am cool with that if you are talking about married couples, but for dating relationships, how much BS should you stomach before you pick the shreds of your dignity and walk away? I know I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long, and sometimes I wish I left even sooner, but I need takes on this…how much is too much?September 22, 2015 at 11:03 AM #2546
Where Did You Go? – Here’s The Right Way to Wrap up a Relationship
Dating is a minefield, there is no doubt about it – when it comes to meeting people, whether it be a hook up or a long-term relationship there are unspoken rules that people have trouble navigating.
Now, make no mistake, I think, when you willingly enter the dating jungle you should proceed with eyes open, fully armoured and prepared for whatever comes out of the proverbial bush. Sad as it is, the people you meet, date or have sex with don’t owe you anything. Whether you had a one night stand and he’s blocked your call (damn) you’ve seen him three times and he’s now blanking you (ouch) or you’ve been dating for three months and now he’s suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth (harsh), sadly you need to look at it rather like s**t that happens – it’s never going to be fun but, that’s life.
No, when it comes to the old cold shoulder, my bugbear is less with the fact that a person chooses to call time on a ‘thing’ and more that, by taking the easy option out of not wrapping it up, it’s just so frigging lazy.
Everything about dating is lazy these days and it’s a pity, because the irony is, the more effort you put into a project, be it within a work context, when raising children, nurturing friendships or forming romantic relationships – the more return you’re going to get.
I’m not suggesting that people should stick with each other despite their instincts and force feelings that aren’t there, but when you can’t be bothered to tell someone you’ve been dating/sh**ing you no longer want to see them again, it’s a grim example of your balls – or rather, failure to grow a pair.
Ghosting, as it’s been coined by the media in recent weeks, is, apparently, the ‘new break-up’, and despite everyone being constantly present on social media, the online over-exposure seems to have works in reverse in ‘real life’ – allowing people to be upfront and confident from behind a screen but s**t scared to have a conversation in real life.
Not having the courage to end a relationship properly or say thanks but no thanks after a brief fling, says one of two things – you’re a coward and are scared that your date/girlfriend/f**k buddy is going lose it, post s**t through your front door and carve w***ker with a key into the side of your car, or you’re just an a-hole supreme.
(NB: that car-keying thing – yep, she’s going to do that anyway).
How about this – give the person you’ve been having sex with a bit more credit. She’s not asking for a four course dinner at The Ivy and a five thousand word explanation written with a peacock feather quill, just a short text (yes, a text in the early days, is totally Ok) to wrap it up.
Breaking up or telling someone you don’t want to see them again is always going to be awkward – it’s something we all dread, but manning up and saying ‘we’re done’, not only means you’re not a complete tit but will also show the dumpee that you might not want to be with them, but respect them enough to bid farewell.
Two adults who have had sex with one another, should be just that – adult enough to wrap it up with some form of communication, all be it minimal.
It’s not hard – remember this rule – if you’ve had sex with someone and aren’t a complete w**ker, wrap it up properly before moving onto the next.
.. and no, defriending them on Facebook does not count.
Culled from http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/
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