Believe it or not, there is one thing men care about more than sex. A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior finds that men care more about cuddling than actually getting it on. Yes, you’re reading that right. And the sex therapists we talked to weren’t all that surprised by the news.
“The requirement of touch is hugely important, especially for men,” says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of How to Be a Great Lover. “One study found that men require three times more touching compared to women in order to create the same amount of dopamine, a feel-good hormone linked with connection and bonding.”
So it’s no wonder the men in this study felt that cuddling, caressing, kissing and tenderness were more important to their relationship happiness than women did. Of course, they were also happier in their relationships if they were in good health and could bring their partner to orgasm. No surprise there!
Want to keep your man happy both in and out of the sack? Try these tips:
1. Give him a FULL-body embrace. Not a gentle, polite, two-point shoulder pat, but a real pressing-up-against-his-body bear hug (from the front or behind will do just fine). “Men have told me they spend their entire lives looking for that person that will touch them they way they love,” says Paget. So don’t hold back. Cuddle him in a way he won’t forget.
2. Soothing strokes. Ask a family member if there was a type of touch that used to soothe your man when he was growing up. Or better yet, do your own “research” and find what works by trial and error. Some men love having their arms lightly stroked; others crave a woman who plays with their hair or rubs their scalp. This type of touch will already be downloaded in his system as soothing and may be one of the keys to connection for him.
3. Surprise him with a kiss. Not the standard peck on the lips you duly provide when he gets home from work, but a real, lingering, passionate, 15-second kiss. The trick here is to take him by surprise. Pull him aside when you’re in line at the movies, plant one on him before he leaves for work or deliver that luscious lip-lock during a commercial break in front of the tube. A hot make-out session when he’s expecting a cheek kiss will get his mojo going in a way scheduled sex just can’t touch.
Culled from http://www.self.com/story/surprising-way-to-please-your