Valentine’s Day was last week, and there are couples still enjoying the euphoria the day brought. They even had a Valentine weekend, and then there are those who can’t even remember if this year’s Valentine’s Day has come or not.
For the latter group of people, after that one day, it is back to their usual ways of Tom and Jerry. So, what do you think the former group are doing right that they have got their acts together?
The simple secret is, for them, every day is Valentine’s Day. They have gotten in on the act that romance in a relationship plays a very strong role.
So, below are five ways to keep the Valentine’s Day fire burning all year round in your relationship:
Practice the art of listening to your partner
As an effective listener, you are able to help your partner discover her/his feelings about a particular problem she/he is having.
When you are able to set your own emotions aside for the time being, you can rest assured that the probability of your partner being able to listen, when you have something to talk about later, will be a lot higher.
And you can imagine what your relationship will be like on a daily basis with two listening folks.
Compliment your partner public…you may be the only one doing it
When you receive a compliment, it makes you feel great about yourself and it can really make your day.
Sometimes, when you are with the same person every day, you can start to take for granted that they always look good, or that they have done well at something, but we all need that little bit of encouragement that a sincere compliment can provide, and it can mean even more when it comes from a person we love. Don’t let your partner’s efforts and achievements go unnoticed, compliment them today.
But please, ensure it is genuine and direct.
If in doubt, know that ground breaking marriage researcher, John Gottman, discovered that happy couples had 20 positive interactions for every one negative.
Give your relationship a boost of happiness with a simple compliment.
Show some Public Display of Affection (PDA)
All of the happy long term marriages I’ve seen each seem to have the same thing in common. Almost without fail, the spouses always greet each other with a kiss, just like when they were first dating. Not a kiss that would make everyone else sick around them but a kiss that you can tell is standard in their relationship.
You will also notice the man finds ways to touch his wife in kind, respectful and uplifting ways; a hand on the small of her back as he ushers her into a room or into a chair. She reciprocates by interlocking her arm with his or leaning her head on his shoulder.
The list could go on, but these are a couple examples of public displays of affection that are not going to make others gag, and at the same time keep the romance alive. They keep it young. They keep it fresh.
It’s something to give a try.
Snuggle (just snuggle!) in bed with your partner and tell him/her all the things you admire about him/her
Communication is important in relationships, but people often forget how effective and meaningful touch can be.
When your career is so stressful, you come home and can’t stop thinking about the job, you’re taking a negative toll on your relationship.
Instead, imagine coming home and cuddling with your partner for even ten minutes a day. This brief break from the stress of everyday life will not only give you all the other benefits listed here, but will also deepen your relationship. You’ll be taking time to focus solely on your partner and what you feel for them.
Besides, cuddling can lead to more. Even non-erotic touch can release dopamine, which is a hormone that increases sexual desire. Getting a sweet hug or massage from your partner after a long day can lead to more, which is win-win for both of you! Regular sexual activity will strengthen your relationship as well. Also, sex is a good stress reliever, and an easy way to get in some physical activity.
While at it, remember that cuddling helps women bond.
Do something nice for your partner daily
Doing nice things for your spouse benefits you According to a couple’s study, compassionate acts are rewarding for a giver’s well-being, even if that person’s significant other doesn’t notice.
But recognition of an act of kindness like compromising with or showing affection toward a spouse wasn’t the key factor in how it made a giver feel. According to the author of the study, Harry Reis, the study shows “Clearly, a recipient needs to notice a compassionate act in order to emotionally benefit from it. But recognition is much less a factor for the donor,” Reis said.
In other words, whether or not the act is recognized, it’s the act itself that spread feel-good vibes all around. So the next time you feel like doing something nice for your spouse, it seems, there is nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
By utilizing these tips, you and your better half will be on a year-long Valentine’s Day and your relationship is strengthened in the process.
Stay in love!
Kristine is a member of The Lovelint team. She is a down to earth person, who says it as it is. Having given relationship advice for years in a national daily, she has found out that fear is one of the main reasons holding people back from enjoying a healthy, happy relationship. She is married with kids and is willing to listen to you and help as much as you let her to.