Dating Diaries: Three is a Crowd- Henry’s story

Henry is a 37-year-old television producer who lives in Lagos Mainland. He says “I’m a guy who cares about style, but isn’t obsessed with it. I like classic staples, nothing too trendy. Blues and greys and greens. Hipster-like, but no skinny jeans, tattoos, piercings or no beard gang things.”

During the middle of this year, Henry decided to scope out the dating scene again. His girlfriend left him. I was bored and quite frankly just wanted to meet someone new, fast.

His eyes had caught Michelle’s once or twice, while he was out on the town on a Friday night and had hoped that he would get a chance to meet her. She’s a pretty black beauty with some pleasing curves. We eventually started chatting, and it turned out she was in town for work, and was only around for one more night. I suggested that we grab a drink, and she replied that she was going out with a friend, but I was welcome to come out as well.

The idea of joining her and a friend conjured up a few different notions. It could have been a girl, or a dude; it could mean that she wasn’t super comfortable meeting a complete stranger in strange city. I figured it was better to at least meet her. If there was chemistry, trust and attraction, something might still happen. I was game for whatever.

We set a plan to meet around nine at a bar in town. I messaged her at eight to make sure we are still good and she told me they were in a totally different neighbourhood. I said I was game to meet there, and waited thirty minutes for a reply. She asked me where I wanted to go. I suggested two places. She wanted descriptions of each spot. I give her those, and suggested a few more options, and she suggested a few more.

At this point I just started walking in her direction. There was more back and forth until she discovered that the bar she decided on is closed, and she wants to try another one nearby. I told her I’d meet her there. Twenty minutes later, I show up, and guess what? She ain’t there.

I decided to have a seat and enjoy myself. I texted her that I was at the bar. I wanted to salvage my night, and I deserved a drink. She texted back asking if we could sit outside. I told her there was no patio, and she suggested another bar that had one. At this point, I told her to text me if she actually got a table. I wasn’t going to get off my ass until then. She messaged saying “Mike and I are on the rooftop.” I found it funny that she finally chose to mention that the friend was a guy at this very late stage.

When I got there, I said hello, and was pleasant and smiling, and told her it felt like she didn’t want me to find her. When I introduced myself to the guy, he essentially turned away from me, totally shunning me, like it wasn’t already weird.

I considered her perspective: strange city, wants to have fun, nothing’s open and she wants to enjoy a drink at a cool place. I figured that the friend could have been from out town, because why else wouldn’t they have found a place to go? Turns out that he actually lived down the street. I realized that he seemed to have had a role in this wild goose chase.
I talked to Mike to be polite, and it turned out we actually had a lot in common. He started to warm up a bit, at least making conversation. All the while, both of them were on their phones. That’s obviously super rude, but I attempted to just keep talking politely.

I realized that Michelle was not the kind of girl I would want to date. I still found her attractive but she seemed to me like a whiny, narcissistic person. However, it became super clear to me that Mike really, really liked her. It turned out that she was staying with him while she was in town. So, I was essentially on a date with this girl, in front of this guy. At one point I even said something about how I felt like I was cuckolding him. I made almost no attempt to woo her.

We lingered for another little while after settling the bill, and I realized that I kind of had an amusing or at least memorable night. I told Michelle in a message the next day that the date was obviously super awkward, considering Mike’s interest. She told me that it wasn’t like that, and that he had zero interest in her. I haven’t talked to her since. She can tell that to the birds.

Culled from

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *