Dating Diaries: This is the Most Wicked Thing Any Man Can Do To A Lady- Nneka’s story

Dear Diary,

We met at a fashion show rehearsal. He was not a model but one of the coordinators of the show. We began talking and seeing each other outside of rehearsals. it was like a normal girl-boy chatting situations. He  told me, he was getting over a recent breakup of a four year relationship, so we were taking things very slowly i.e. nothing physical. I wasn’t in a rush either, as I kinda hate mixing business with pleasure, this industry is still pretty small, no matter how much hype they put to it, everyone knows everyone.

Since, he was the one that left, his ex-girlfriend got to keep the house, while he had to find a way to sort himself out. Instead renting, he decided to develop the plot of land that he had bought years ago, while living in a small place. I thought that was crazy and told him so, but it was not my relationship or money so I let it go. He lived in an apartment while waiting for the house to be finished and took me to the grounds one evening to show me the progress. We talked often and we went on dates often, but he had disappearing acts that made me take serious heed.

For example, he would plan an all day event with me then the day of the event, he would be no where to be found, no answered phones or texts, only to pop up a few hours or days later deeply apologizing. He would buy me make-up gifts, and tell me how crazy he was about me, but something was not clicking for me.

When I was nearing the end of my patience, he suggested I move into his new house with him. Calling me almost daily to see what I decided. While the idea of living rent free excited me, the fact that we had not even so much as kissed made me very wary, so I declined. Even after I renewed my rent, he was still trying to make it happen offering to pay for everything, but I stayed where I was. Eventually his disappearing acts and excuses caused me to stop accepting his calls.

Fast forward a few more weeks, he began calling and texting to apologize. He convinced me to go out on a date with him to hear him out and on the date he spoke as if he understood my frustration and begged that I give him a chance to redeem himself. For the life of me I could not understand why this guy was so pressed, but I had to admit that when he was not magically missing, he was a lot of fun.

We began texting and talking again, this time a little more often and openly about our attraction and feelings. He continuously invited me to come see his new home, by now it was finished and he had moved in. He sent me pictures of various rooms to entice me to visit with the possibility of moving in. The house was very nice in the pictures he sent, and all the rooms were decorated nicely, which seemed a little odd because he did not seem like the type to care about hanging drapes and valances, and matching decor, but he had them. Since I know he did not buy the fully decorated model home as some people do, I figured he hired an interior decorator.

Some three weeks after we “rekindled” our dating, my coworker invited me to her baby shower. The shower was hosted by her hairdresser at her home. I remember trying to put the address in my GPS and figured it was a new house in a newly developed area so Google was the only way I found it. For some odd reason, the area looked familiar and I wondered how close I was to the house I came to visit with my friend. I walked around the back to were the party was and as soon as I approached the glass door who do I see laid out on the couch against the wall? This fool! The one I was dating! The one that constantly asked me to move in (to this house I guess) with him! The one who begged me for another chance just three weeks ago! When he opened the door he greeted me by name not trying to hide the fact that he knew me.

I responded with “It’s a small world” real sarcastically. Within a few seconds a woman asked for my name to make sure I was an invited guest. It only took me a second to put it together, he opened the door, she asked my name, she was the host and this was THEIR house. Long story short, this fool was married!! The house I walked into was the one he shared with his wife of fours years! Wait?! What?! Where was I gonna sleep had I moved in? I could only stomach that baby shower for about 20 mins before I made up a reason to leave. I never spoke to the married guy again.

Culled from

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