Dating Diaries: The Mixed blessings of Dating a Younger Guy – Bisi’s story

Bisi is a 29-year-old woman who works in IT and lives on the nouveau riche side of Lagos, Lekki, even though; her family house is still in Ikoyi. She says, “I’m into politics, and I closely followed the past elections.” Bisi describes herself as “philosophical,” “goal-oriented” and “warm, but only with people I like. I have to admit that I hold myself and others to a high level of social standards.” She likes going to see live music, read and learn new languages and about other cultures.

scar Wilde said, “With age comes wisdom” and I have always agreed. But it’s not like the idea of dating younger men had never crossed my mind. Especially now, with everybody from Madonna to Jennifer Lopez doing it, to even the girl down the street doing it. It was not just something; I actively set out to do. It might not be the new normal, because, I’m too old school for my own sake but at the same time, I felt like, I might be missing out. So, I decided to take a chance on Segun, whom, I met online and had been chatting with for a long time.

Segun was only four years younger than me — not a huge difference — and he was sweet, attentive and romantic in his messages and texts, not to mention super cute in his pictures. It also felt incredibly unexpected that his profile listed some of the exact same things as mine. For the first time, I truly believed my days of online dating might be over. Yeah! I went that far.

We lived in opposite ends of the city but, for Segun, that was hardly an issue. In fact, he wanted to drive across town to pick me up after work and get dinner on our first date. I was impressed by his show of commitment and thrilled to finally meet him in person after a lot of texting and social media chatting.

However, the night of our date was unexpectedly cold. I didn’t dress entirely appropriately and the short walk from my office to his car — he was parked around the corner — was unbearable in my fancy heels, (I had thought, he was going to drive right up to my office door and had on this ridiculous pair of sandals, I was wearing for the first time and now you know, I was trying to impress. ;-)
I was so excited to meet him, until I slid into the car and :shocked: saw how he came dressed for the evening. Segun was very cute, but he had driven across the town in a cold weather in nothing more than a white T-shirt, shorts and a baseball cap. He just laughed and said he had forgotten to change before the date. I wondered why he hadn’t worn even a jacket — or pants, for that matter! — but mostly wondered where he was planning to take me in that outfit of his.

We ended up at a cosy pizza restaurant nearby, which was fine. It was a little awkward, but nice, and both of us were trying hard to be entertaining and present. He didn’t check his phone or make inappropriate jokes like a lot of guys I have dated who were significantly older — and apparently less mature — than he was. So far, pretty good.

Back in the car after dinner, Segun told me he was going to play me some of his favourite music which turned out to be some terrible music. It was simply awful. He played it loudly the entire drive home, sang along and I suffered it in silence. :whistle:

I silently scolded myself for not being more open-minded about his taste in clothes and music, but also felt that a good date would not involve being a captive audience for someone’s favourite band, with the volume turned up all the way, no less.

Despite the quirks of the date, I decided I liked Segun. He was kind, fun and did I mention cute? By the time we got back to my place, I had decided that I would give him a chance and that the effort he had made at dinner suggested he deserved a second date.

I usually don’t kiss on a first date but, for him, I made an exception. It was nice and quite sweet. I got out of the car and, when I went to bed, I was feeling like I was finally starting a new chapter in my life. Maybe Oscar Wilde had it wrong.

Then again, maybe not. In the middle of the night, I got a call from Segun begging me to let him come over again so we could have sex. He even started whimpering. It was so disappointing and slightly gross. :killbill:   :killbill:

That’s when I remembered why dating younger men isn’t always the best idea and hung up the phone.

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