Dating Diaries: Oh, So Indecisive And I Don’t Chase Men- Laura’s story


Laura is a 33-year-old corporate executive. She says “I was divorced five years ago, and also a few years before that, and I have one child from my second marriage.” Laura describes her style as “vintage chic and modern mixed into one platinum, Madonna-like package.” She has a “a high-octane personality” and enjoys “archery, volleyball and skydiving.” She says “I’m busy: work, gym, my daughter. I don’t have time to chase men.” Laura adds “I don’t date lawyers. That’s a rule.”

I met Victor online last year. We emailed and then met up at a bar. We had a couple of drinks and really clicked. He has a great voice. He told me that online dating is hard and that women sometimes don’t look like their photos, but that I did.

After the bar, he came with me to my friend’s house party. He was warm and funny, and we sat down to talk about our exes and divorce and dating. We also danced and had a good time. He twirled me around, and I introduced him to some friends. We ended up holding hands. It was a great night. A great date.

We went out on a second date, to a Chinese restaurant. We laughed and bonded and he told me about his ex-wife some more. We had a great connection; it was warm and affectionate. Two friends of Victor’s came up to him to say hi, and he told them we were dating. I said “We are? This is only our second date.”

Then we went to meet one of his friends somewhere else and got out on the dance floor. I told him that I thought we danced well together; he told me I was gorgeous. We kissed goodnight. He didn’t contact me the next day. We emailed eventually, but he didn’t ask me out again. Strike one.

Time went by and contact totally dropped. He emailed me about going out but ended up cancelling because the weather was bad. I didn’t like the way he did it, so I told him not to waste my time. Either keep in touch, or don’t. Don’t be all over the place. Things dropped off again. Strike two.

A week later, I went to lunch in town with a friend, drinking wine and eating pizza. I saw Victor. He must have decided to be cheeky, because he snuck up behind me and grabbed my shoulders. I almost screamed out loud. Everyone turned around and looked at us. I was surprised, to say the least. He said “Hi, stranger.”

He sat down with us and ended up staying for a long time. He asked me why I didn’t call him and asked my friend why I don’t call or email. I reminded him that I had emailed him hello after the second date and that I don’t chase. I told him about his two strikes, and I said, “You take it from here.”

He gave me several long hugs goodbye before leaving the restaurant and said I should call him, which I did that night. The chat was good but he was less communicative after that. Indecisive flip-flopping? No thanks. Show genuine interest or get lost.

Three strikes, he’s out.

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