I met this guy at a bar,he was kinda big, but that was cool, I was into men with meat on their bones then. Anyway, he was sweet and had a voice like Dan Foster (You know Dan Foster, the On Air Personality) So at the end of the evening he asked me out for a formal date. Sure, why not. He texts me day of the date and says let’s meet at KFC and go from there.
Cool. Typically I don’t like chain restaurants because I like to invest in local businesses. KFC will always have funding, but your local businesses won’t, you know. Anyways, it’s a date so hey let’s go with it. So I meet him at the eatery and he hands me the menu. He says,” Here’s the menu you can order from.” I notice it’s the Happy Hour menu and I wasn’t really feeling the drink special on offer.
I wasn’t trying to get blasted on the first date. So I asked him for another menu. He says, Oh no, you can only order from this one because the drinks are cheaper. I was like “Is this all that they are selling at this hour” he says “Nah, but it’s all I’m paying for” What in the entire hell I think to myself!!!! So I say, “You know what I’ll just have a water.” He says “Even better, I think I’m going to like you” and I think to myself, not when I order this steak and lobster from the next restaurant we visit.
Anyways, he finishes his cheap drink and we leave and head to the next location. Oh and did I mention that this dude left no tip…lol. So he says “you’ll really like the next place.” It’s one of my favorites in the city. At the time I was living in Lagos and that city is so rich in culture, so I was pretty pumped. We pull into the parking lot of the next spot, and in front of me is that blue, white and red sign that we have all become too familiar with on late nights after drinking…
*sigh* so I looked at him and chuckled and said, “You’re kidding right?? He said “Hah, I love this place because they still give me student benefits”. I was shocked, this 40 year old man was still claiming student benefits in a restaurant. He proceeds to order the entire left side of the menu..the waitress knew him by name. Smh.. I order water. He eats like it’s the last meal. I was disgusted! So I ask him to take me back to KFC to get my car . He says no, I already bought movie tickets… Umm sir, we never discussed going to the movies and further more you and I never talked about anything that we would like to see so what the hell did you buy???? So the Hungry Hungry Hippo and I make it to the movie theaters and he whips out his student ID again and gets tickets to Zack and Mike Make a Porno at a reduced price. I was ready to cry at this point but I didn’t want to be mean or ungrateful so I went along with it. We got into the theater and he immediately falls asleep. Snoring loud as all hell. I mean this guy was the poster child for sleep apnea.
So I snuck out and called my girlfriend to come and get me. He called so many times the next day asking if he could make it up to me. I promptly told him about himself and gave him some dating pointers for the next victim and hung up!!!!! SMH
Culled from http://datingdiariesdmv.com/blog/2014/12/20/dating-1/