Kenny is a 4o-year-old executive. She says, “My style is ‘classic eclectic.’ I’m tall and while I wear suits most days at work, I like to have a bit of an edge. I don’t like to look like everyone else.” She is “upbeat, optimistic and fun. A planner. Curious and inquisitive. I’m sometimes a little intense.” Kenny likes “baseball games, the symphony, dancing with girlfriends, binge-watching TV shows and listening to my vinyl collection.” She recently got divorced after 15 years of marriage. She says, “I want to date someone who is funny, passionate about something, affectionate and kind. Ultimately, it has to be someone who likes children, since I have one.”
I met Matthew online. He was very attractive, and I’m OK with being shallow at this stage of my dating life. His pictures showed off an amazing body and a great smile. His profile made him seem intelligent, and when we chatted, he had a balance of “flirty” and “respectful” that most men find elusive. He was also very responsive, and wasn’t a game player. I was very eager to meet him.
We met at a bar close to my house. He lived not too far from me, actually. I wanted the option of inviting him back to my place if things went well — I had decided just to go for it.
When I walked into the bar, Matthew said my name, and I literally had no idea who I was looking at. His profile pictures were at least a decade old, and he had much less hair, a bit of a gut, and his face had really aged. I was in shock. After a moment, I decided that since I was so geared up for a date — and dressed up and made up — I would stay. I just really wanted to be out there and make the best of things.
But, to make matters worse, Matt was rather shy and reserved in person. It took a long time for him to warm up to me. It was hard to keep the conversation going, but I’m a good conversationalist and just kept asking him questions. He nursed one glass of wine, so it wasn’t the alcohol, but eventually he got more comfortable with me and opened up a bit. The conversation started to flow, and we talked about politics and our pet peeves. He was actually a sweet and caring guy.
Although I didn’t like his deceit, I also recognized that he probably couldn’t face that he wasn’t the six-packed hottie he was a decade before. I also knew that the saucy yet respectful guy he was via text was in there, somewhere. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, but I like a great mind even more, so I was willing to give him a chance.
The date lasted a very long time. I was surprised when, at the end of the date, he took charge, slid his arm around my waist and leaned in to kiss me — which is when I learned we had some serious physical chemistry. It is still one of the best kisses I’ve ever had. The physical connection was instant and explosive. It was not what I expected from him. He ended up staying at my house that night … and the next. It turned out to be one of the best first dates I’d ever been on.