Dating Diaries: I was Put Off At First But I’m Glad I Picked Him – Rolake’s story

Rolake is a 29-year-old human-resources professional. She says “I always buy clothes that make me look and feel my best, whether they’re trendy or not. My style is feminine, chic, and colourful but not tacky.” Rolake says she is “high energy, funny, charming, reflective, persuasive, ambitious, and a little flirtatious.” Rolake likes to take exercise classes, play tennis, knit, “dance to old ’70s and ’80s songs on YouTube,” read fiction, and travel.

My last relationship before I met Paul, who is now my husband, was a disaster. I learned a lot from that experience, and after it ended I took a break from dating for a while to figure out who I was and what I wanted. I learned to be independent and self-supporting. I’m really glad I did that.

When I started dating again, I knew I wanted a man who was sexy, smart, loving, funny, strong — mentally, physically and spiritually — caring, affectionate, and someone I could have interesting and intellectual conversations with. I wanted someone old-fashioned but also street smart.

I went to a singles dating event and made fast friends with a woman, who was tired of talking to men. She asked me what I was looking for, and I told her I was picky. She said that was a good thing.

Later, she introduced me to a guy, who had arrived late because he had a golf game before the event. He was not meeting single women playing golf, apparently. It was Paul. He looked me up and down before saying hi; I thought he was hot, sexy, handsome and obnoxious. I could also feel a very strong attraction.

We both mingled, but later Paul approached me and we talked for about 10 minutes. I excused myself politely and went to the ladies’ room; when I came back, Paul was patiently waiting for me. Later that night, I was talking to Paul and some other people, when I tripped over some stairs and fell flat on my behind. It was truly embarrassing, and a couple of the people there laughed at me. Paul helped me up in a strong and gentle way, without making me feel bad. I changed my mind: I thought Paul was hot, sexy, handsome, obnoxious and nice.

He called me three days later and asked me out. I said no, because I was busy with work events. He asked me about my schedule and asked me out again, and ended up waiting several weeks to see me again, without whining or complaining.

We went to the movies, where he put his arm around me and pulled me close to him. Normally I wouldn’t let a man get that close to me so quickly, but I felt very good about it. During a scary scene, I grabbed Paul’s hand in the dark and we held hands the rest of the movie – it was a strangely sensual experience. He didn’t want to let go.

After the movie, we were still holding hands and he held me very close to him as we were walking in the parking lot. Our date was in early April, but it was cold and icy outside. I said to Paul, “I can’t believe I wore my high boots tonight. It’s so slippery outside, I’ll fall for sure!”

Paul said to me, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” Then we kissed in the parking lot, and I felt like little fireworks were going off in my heart. After we stopped kissing – which seemed like a very long time – Paul asked if he could see me the next weekend. It turns out that Paul isn’t perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

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