Sophie is 28, works in real estate. She is “tall and athletic,” and says “Pink is my standout colour. It always makes me feel good about myself.” Sophie says “I’m superfriendly, popular and confident, but reserved. I’m a loyal friend and very honest.” Sophie likes “travel, photography, movies, playing pool, tennis, baseball, shopping, thrifting, antiquing and seeing concerts — I’ll go by myself, or with friends.” Sophie is looking for someone “trusting and trustworthy, interesting, muscular, employed and from a decent family.”
My friend Mercy called to tell me that we would be having dinner that night with her very successful cousin, Jacob, and his friend, and that they would pick me up at my place that night for a last-minute double date. I was excited. I had been single for six months at that point.
They showed up a few minutes early. I was impressed with the car, which turned out to be Jacob’s friend’s. I introduced myself to Jacob as he got out of the car, and my heart deflated right there on the driveway. He was shorter than I am. He was wearing outdated pants, cheap-looking shoes and an unflattering shirt. When I don’t like a guy’s clothes, it tells me everything I need to know. Jacob’s friend, on the other hand, was well-dressed and strikingly handsome.
We had a reservation at an Italian restaurant in town. The hostess at the restaurant seated us in front of two huge speakers. I ended up sitting right in front of one of them. Neither of the guys said anything to the hostess about it.
We ordered cocktails, wine, appetizers and pasta. There was a lot of conversation, but I felt like it was pointless for me to participate because I couldn’t hear anything with the speakers right there. I mostly just ate and smiled. When I did talk, I talked to both Jacob and his friend. I actually liked the friend much better, even though he was there with Mercy.
The food was delicious. Halfway through my meal, I took a break from eating to digest and relax. The guys were using slices of the crusty bread from the table to finish the tomato sauce left on their plates. Mercy asked me something and then all of a sudden, while I was looking at her, Jacob stood up, leaned across the table and stuck his bread in the middle of my plate, sopping up my sauce.
Tomato sauce went flying. It got on my face and neck and my top. I was shocked, but was able to pull my face back far from the plate to avoid more splatter. I was speechless. I looked down and there were blobs of red across my chest. I couldn’t figure out what had even happened. Before I had a chance to say anything, Jacob did it again — and said something about how I was wasting my food and how he would have it if I wasn’t going to eat it.
I was disgusted. I finally said something about germs, how he was being gross and that I wasn’t even finished eating. Who does that? I couldn’t tell if he was trying to be funny or what was going on.
I used some water and cloth napkins to dab at the sauce on my top, but it seeped deeper into the material. I was so embarrassed. The table of people beside us were staring at us in disbelief. I wanted to crawl under the table.
Mercy was trying to calm me down, and was saying it wasn’t a big deal and my top could be cleaned. I saw Jacob’s friend giving Jacob a look, like “Really?” I was done.
The next thing I heard was Jacob asking Mercy to throw in some money for dinner. I couldn’t believe it. Jacob’s friend didn’t say anything or even offer to pay for Melissa. At that point I stood up and asked Mercy to come with me to the ladies room.
I told her that I wasn’t about to hand over any money, especially now that her moronic cousin had ruined my shirt. I asked her to talk to Jacob and tell him we weren’t going to pay.
We went back to the table and Mercy chickened out. The next thing I saw was her handing money over to Jacob. Then I found myself reaching into my bag and taking out cash, too. I was in disbelief about the whole thing.
Jacob tried to get in touch with me for a few weeks after that, until I told Mercy to tell him I wasn’t interested in seeing him ever again.