Dating Diaries: I Didn’t Know I Was Missing Alot By Avoiding Online Dating- Sam’s Story

Sam is in his 40s, works in TV, and says “I’ve lived in the same  neighbourhood for 20 years.” Sam’s style is “‘authentic.’ I’m a guy’s guy. I buy most of my stuff in New York or in L.A. so it will be trendy back home, a few months later.” Sam would be described as “a gentleman, extroverted, funny, secretly romantic, and never boring.” He says “In my free time it’s mostly live shows. On dates, it’s favourite restaurants, bars, and beaches.” Sam adds “There’s nothing I like more than playing DJ at home, surrounded by candles.”

I had been hesitant to try online dating. I enjoy meeting women the old-fashioned way, and I’m a relatively well-known TV type. I was afraid that women would recognize me and think, wow, has he ever gotten desperate. Then I noticed that one of the characters on The Affair went on Tinder and met all kinds of people. I asked a bunch of my friends, and they were not only signed up for dating apps but “cashing in” on a regular basis. I entered the world of online dating and my phone lit up like a Christmas tree. Here’s the twist: many women who I’ve met told me that being on TV took the “guess work” out of meeting up with me, which they liked.

That happened with Nicole. We went through the usual process: emails and texts, followed by some phone calls. I loved her playfulness. We set up a date for drinks at a bar where she and some friends were gathering for a birthday party. Strength in numbers, right?

Nicole was a knockout. She had long, gorgeous hair, and was curvy in all the right places. She was amazing, and was coming off a long-term relationship. I arrived late to the festivities to take some of the pressure off. Her whole crew and I hit it off immediately. The bottle-service Grey Goose was flowing, and Nicole and I were definitely clicking.

After a couple of kisses on the dance floor, Nicole asked if I’d like to join her and her friends in the limo she’d rented for the occasion, to go to an “after-hours” house party along with her friends. The place was just outside of town, but she assured me that I could stay the night because there was lots of room. I quickly considered. Limo? Stocked bar? Nicole and her gorgeous friends? Extremely good possibility of some cardiovascular activity? Check, check, check, and check.

The drive was hilarious. I was holding court with Nicole and five or six of her friends, including one insanely attractive woman, Dani, who was smiling at me the whole time. We were popping multiple bottles of Champagne, and the ladies were asking me all about the famous people I’ve met. As I’m the king of the name drop, they were enthralled.

Nicole took me on a quick tour, and after some light canoodling in the bedroom, she suggested that we get back to the party. This was turning into an amazing night. The party was an expensive, elaborate scene with dozens of people spilling in and out.

About an hour later, I went upstairs to look for a washroom. I inadvertently walked into a room with no lights on, just the glow of a cigarette in the dark. After a moment, I heard someone say “Come on in.” This was the first time I had heard Dani say anything the whole night. We talked. I asked her if she had a boyfriend, and she said she did, but he was “open” in some ways. One thing led to another. I was worried that Nicole would come in, but what could I do?

Moments later, the inevitable happened when Nicole walked in. I was so busted. I also realized that the possibility of spending the night at Nicole’s place had become remote. I said that I’d order a cab and head home.

Word of my little tryst upstairs must have spread, because I felt a chill in the room when I went back downstairs. There wasn’t really anything appropriate to say to Nicole, or any of her friends, so I slipped outside to wait for the cab.

I was happy to count my blessings and swallow the cab fare downtown. I headed home with a smile on my face so bright I could light up the Toronto skyline.


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