Dating Diaries: He Was In A Bad Mood And I Ended Up Paying For Dinner – Willa’s story

bad-date-black-coupleWilla is a 35-year old social worker . “My personal style is feminine and relaxed. The ultimate look for me is a pair of heels, jeans, a light pink shirt and a blazer,” she says. “I’m an extrovert and very social. Somehow, I always seem to find a way to connect to people.” Willa adds that she is “always looking to improve myself in various ways.” She likes to go out dancing with friends or “spending a quiet night in, reading a favourite novel.” Willa recently started dating again after a divorce.

I was really excited to try online dating. My sister had told me about  a particular site, Tinder and downloaded their app to my phone, and started looking for matches for me. You swipe right if you like someone, and left if you don’t. A “match” is when you have both swiped right.

At first, I didn’t realize that Tinder was mostly used for hooking up, so for a few weeks I was getting matched with guys, who would mostly stop messaging me when I said I wanted to be in a relationship.

Dominic was the first guy I talked to who wasn’t just after a one-night stand, so that attracted me to him. He was good-looking, as well. He also came from a small town, so I thought we would have similar values. After swiping right, we exchanged a couple of messages, which were nice, and then he asked me to meet for a drink.

Dominic chose a pub on the mainland, because he lives there. When we met, I thought he was cute. He looked like his photos and he was dressed nicely. But I was turned off by something. He seemed like he was an introvert but also like he was possibly in a bad mood. Maybe that was just his personality. At that point, I couldn’t tell.

It didn’t go well at all. Soon after we sat down, I realized that his negative energy was a date-killer for me. I was trying my best to keep the conversation flowing and just get through the date, but Dominic just seemed like an angry person who wanted to rant. In my opinion, there was zero chemistry and Dominic contributed zero to the conversation. (It also turned out that he contributed zero naira to the date, but that’s another matter.)

The real trouble started when he was finishing his first glass of wine. When I am drinking a glass of wine and the waiter brings a small carafe, I wait until I’m done with my glass and then fill it up from the carafe. Dominic was different. He filled his wine glass but left just a few drops in the carafe. To any waiter, it would seem as though the carafe was empty.

Our waiter came by and picked up the carafe. Dominic said, really irritably, “You know I’m not done, right?” I cringed. The waiter looked confused, but laughed, as if Dominic was joking. I thought he was joking. Apparently, this was not a laughing matter. Dominic raised his voice and said, “Can’t you see I have wine in there?”

I was mortified and suddenly the waiter and I could both tell this was a serious matter. Dominic said “I’m not done with my drink, so leave it here.”

Anyone who is rude to someone in the service industry turns me off. It is so important to treat others with kindness, and to respect everyone. This was just unacceptable.

I was desperate to leave. The date ended with an awkward hug — after I paid for everything!

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