Rachael is a 35-year-old insurance professional. . She says that recently she decided to enter the “shark-infested waters” of online dating after being divorced for almost 10 years. She describes herself as “polished, and a little trendy in an age-appropriate way.” Rachael says “I’m shy at first when meeting new people, but once I feel comfortable, I’m outgoing.” For fun, Rachael likes to try different restaurants, and “plan my next vacation!”
I haven’t dated too much since my divorce. I thought I’d finally take a stab at online dating. I want to be in a relationship with someone who is honest, and has integrity; has a good sense of humour; is a “dog person”; who is also a gentleman. If he’s hot, that’s a bonus!
I met Linus several months after I started online dating. He was charming, polite and interesting at first, and I liked that he was also divorced, because I imagined he could make a commitment. We went from messaging on the site to texting to eventually speaking on the phone. Soon after that he asked me to go out for drinks and dinner because just drinks seemed “too casual.” I have already had more than my share of drink dates, usually at different bars around town. This was a nice step up.
When we met, at a beautiful restaurant on the mainland, Linus seemed great. And cute! But as soon as the date “started” I realized that it was not going to go well. He wasn’t making eye contact with me, at all. Eye contact is really important; not being comfortable or confident enough to make eye contact is such a red flag. He also dominated the conversation, and never asked me any questions, and was apparently not concerned with my perspective on anything. He became increasingly belligerent and rude. It was very uncomfortable, to say the least.
Not too long into the date, Linus started venting. He had a lot to say about women, and in particular, his ex-wife and more recent ex-girlfriends. He used many choice phrases to describe these women, none of which I hear anymore outside of TV and movies. When I interjected to disagree with his opinions, he brushed me off. He ended his rant by asserting that if a guy pays for a date, he should expect “something” in return. I couldn’t believe that this guy existed in 2015. I realized that he might have other motivations for a “real” date instead of a quick drink, and started to appreciate the idea of paying my way on my next outing!
We finished our meal, and I did everything I could to pay for myself, but he refused to take money from me. After the bill was paid, I hurried to the door as quickly as I could. He grabbed my arm, planted a cold kiss on my lips and asked me if I was interested in joining him at his place. I told him not to contact me ever again, and suggested that he reconsider the ways he thinks about — and talks about! — women. I blocked his number, too. Unfortunately, I’m learning that what a lot of people on these sites need is professional help, not a girlfriend.
Culled from http://www.thestar.com/life/2015/07/17/dating-diaries-rachael-and-lincoln.html