Amina is a 33-year-old legal professional. She says “I would describe my look as classy and feminine.” Amina is “smart, fun-loving, and always up for a good adventure.” She says “I’m sometimes book-nerdish, but I love meeting new people and having new experiences.” She likes playing soccer, doing yoga, painting and making her own natural beauty products. She adds: “I’m a very kind and open person, so people often mistakenly perceive me as naïve.” Amina is looking for “a good guy with an edge. Smart, athletic and confident, with good character and a sense of humour.”
I met Sola at a club, and we had a blast dancing together all night. I had finally cut ties with an ex about six months prior, and had been getting to know various guys here and there, with little luck.
Sola was in his late twenties, attractive, friendly and seemingly confident. I actually thought he was a bit of a player, so I just focused on having a good time with him. He was cool: he complimented my outfit, and engaged with all my friends at the club. While we were dancing, he asked me to hang out the next day – way too fast! I declined. But, since Sola’s phone was dead, I took his number after getting approval from my friends. We started texting later that night, and I decided to ask him out.
My friend suggested that I meet Sola at a fancy rooftop hotel patio. We arranged to go for an afternoon drink. I was a bit nervous leading up to the date because I was afraid that I had forgotten what he looked like. He texted me right before we met that he was in the lobby waiting in a very blue chair, which I thought was funny. We kissed on both cheeks and made our way up to the patio. The elevator was almost pitch-black with only dim blue lights, so the ride up was a bit awkward and tense, but also slightly reminiscent of the dance floor.
On the patio, I was suddenly worried about the bikini-clad girls and half-naked butts in our faces. Seth stared directly at me and didn’t seem to be distracted. He kept offering to switch seats with me to give me a break from the sun, which I thought was considerate. The mood was very laid-back, light, and spontaneous with lots of talk about what we do, what we want to do, where we’ve travelled, where we want to live.
After a while, I said I had to be somewhere – I make a point of cutting things off on dates by the two or three hour mark. We left the patio and made our way towards the elevator. The elevator ride down felt a lot more intimate; there was definitely some serious sexual tension, and his stare meant business. Sola moved closer to me, but we were interrupted when the elevator stopped only a few floors down.
When we got to the lobby, he asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee. I knew I shouldn’t, but I said my plans were “flexible” and agreed, and we stopped at a nearby café. We then found a park bench and sat down. Within minutes, the conversation got very personal, and he put his arm around my shoulder. He became more vulnerable and started to really open up. I felt like this was what a second or third date should feel like, and like we were already an established couple sitting on a park bench, being very philosophical and deep.
This should have been where the date finally ended, but we both realized we were hungry and decided to get pizza. The conversation began to take an even more intimate tone, and after the pizza he offered to drive me home. In the car, I came clean about how my “plans” were more like “back-up plans” and he said he had a back-up plan, too. We laughed about that. When we got to his car, he kissed me again and signaled toward the backseat. I politely declined, and he drove me home. It appeared we had a good connection. I thought he was charming, and seemed like a good guy.
I never heard from him again.
Culled from https://www.thestar.com/