Dating Diaries: He Just Wanted A Mother For His Kids- Geri’s story

Geri is 38 years old,  she works in publishing. She says “I like to include one unusual detail in my outfit, like crazily printed heels, or an unexpected colour combination.” Geri says “I love meeting new people, and will ask questions of anyone. I love to banter about everything. Someone, who only wants to talk about sports or politics would bore me eventually.” Geri loves movies, likes to entertain, and regularly hosts parties at her house. Geri has two children, and has been separated for over a year.

At this stage in my dating life, I am looking for someone I could have a relationship with. Not an immediate move-in-and-meet-all-my-family-members kind of thing, but someone who has the potential to be around for a while. I am past the stage of being okay with hookups, or settling for men who are less than ideal. I don’t care to waste my time anymore.
Carlos and I met online. He had a very intense look in his pictures: a piercing gaze, some would say. He was very tall and good-looking. He was also heavy, but that’s not a deal-breaker for me. I care more about whether someone is interested in a variety of things, and has a decently healthy approach to life and love.

Carlos sent me a good opening message on the dating site. He was interesting and interested, and we had good online banter. I like someone with a quick wit. This led to some very good talks over the phone, but I made sure there weren’t too many: I find that if a guy doesn’t ask to meet after several days of texting or phone calls, he likely never will.

Carlos suggested drinks, and we ended up having a great first date: good conversation, similar interests, and general compatibility. He met me close to my office, which I really appreciated. It’s a good sign when a man is willing to make an effort of some kind on a first date.

For our second date, we decided on dinner at a restaurant I had wanted to try. Once again, we had a wonderful time. He had been a bit nervous on the first date, and loosened up physically on the second. We ended that date with some excellent kissing.

We started off the third date at my place for a drink, and planned to go to dinner in my neighbourhood after. Everything was great at mine, and I was really enjoying myself, until we somehow got to the topic of children. Over his glass of wine, Carlos told me that he definitely wanted kids. I joked that that was great, since I come with two. Package deal. He looked at me intently and said that he wanted his own, biological children.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with this. Except that I didn’t want another kid even when I was married, let alone when I was single and approaching 40 … and literally that day, I had booked my surgery to have my Fallopian tubes tied. It’s mostly for medical reasons, but also because I am completely done having children. Either way, the timing was rather ironic.

When I gently explained all of this to him, Carlos just stared at me blankly, totally speechless. He then said “Well, that’s rather final,” implying that I was somehow being irrational in my decision. He asked why I didn’t want any more. I laughed and said that I guessed I wasn’t his girl, and then laid it all out for him in no uncertain terms: no more kids. He didn’t say anything. We had a bit more awkward conversation, finished our drinks, and then he left. There wasn’t really any point to continuing on to dinner. As my mother often says, timing is everything. So, yeah, that was the end.

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