Ava is a 37-year-old small-business owner. She says “My personal style is ‘classic chameleon’: I’m typically wearing business clothes, but I’m comfortable getting dressed for any environment.” Ava is “caring and empathetic, sometimes to a fault. I have a big sense of humour, and I’m an out-of-the-box thinker.” Ava wants to date someone who is “kind and funny, with an empathetic view of the world, and great taste in food, wine and travel.”
I’ve been single for about six months. My last relationship was long-distance, as in, across-the-equator long-distance. I’m very busy, so my dating life is inconsistent. I won’t spend too much of my free time going out with random people. I do want to move forward with my life, though, so I went online.
Mark was my first online date. We went out and had a good time. He seemed to have a good sense of humour, and was cute and well-cut. I have to admit I was surprised when, at the end of dinner, his credit card was declined, and he paid in cash. Still, I agreed to a second date.
Mark suggested that we go to a party at his “close friend’s” house for our next date. I thought that sounded like a potential adventure, getting to know the friends right away, so I said yes.
I showed up at his place, since he wanted to show me around before the party. His house was immaculate, and filled with toys, action figures and so forth. He was super into it. He told me that I’d have to get used to it if we were going to be together. I knew by then that I would never date him seriously. He asked me if I wanted to have a drink. I definitely did.
He asked me what I wanted. I looked at his wine rack and said I’d have a glass of red. He told me that he didn’t want to open wine because it would go to waste, and said I could have a rum and Coke. Since I don’t drink cola, I declined his offer and asked for a corkscrew to open the wine I had brought as a host gift. He told me I should wait to open it until we arrived at the party, but I kept my hand out for a corkscrew until he handed one over.
Mark then told me that he wanted to take a cab to the party instead of driving us so we could drink more, and that it would be a fifty-dollar cab ride, but he only expected me to pay half, on the way back. At that point I was certain I would be making my own way home. I felt like I was in a sitcom situation, but decided to stick around out of curiosity for what was next.
My radar was way up. We hung out and drank for about an hour. Most of his stories were really vague, and he asked me not to interrupt him when I asked a question, so I just listened, tried not to laugh out loud at his absurdity, and drank wine. I never felt threatened or unsafe at any point in the evening, but I was really questioning my instincts.
He called the cab and told me to get my coat on because he wanted to smoke before the taxi arrived. He managed to get two full cigarettes in. I almost died of the smell once we were in the cab. Thankfully he sat up front. I opened my window. It was freezing. Mark told me to shut the window because it was winter. I asked the driver to turn up the song on the radio.
When we got to the party, his “close friend” turned out to be a girl he had met a few weeks earlier on Tinder! Apparently they had decided that they were not a good fit, but it was immediately very clear that she was not happy with my presence in her home. They spent the whole evening talking and laughing at inside jokes. Most of the people at the party seemed confused as to what I was doing there. I was confused, too. Not only was Mark one of the most self-absorbed people I’ve ever met, he might also be one of the most peculiar.
The date was so bad, it made me realize how great my ex was, despite our differences. So, instead of helping me to move forward, the date made me reminiscent for the man I had been trying to forget.
Culled from http://www.thestar.com/life/2016/04/02/dating-diaries-ava-and-mark.html