Dating Diaries: He Just Couldn’t Stop Talking”- Amaka’s story

Amaka is a 30 year old, who was in a long term relationship before she was jilted by her ex. She does not look her age at all, in fact, She says “Many people think I’m 10 years younger than I am ” She is someone, you will call “petite and fit” and that is because she takes such good care of herself with her healthy routine of dance and exercise. Amaka is often told that she has “a great smile” and that she is stylish. She describes herself as loving to read — newspapers, magazines, fiction. I love all kinds of music. I love to visit with friends, travel, dine out, and go to movies!” She says “I love a challenge, and to try new things. I find that as I get older, I want to have more fun!” Enjoy her story below.

A mutual friend of mine set me up with Chibuzor. We spoke on the phone a few times, and I was very taken with his accent — my first boyfriend grew up in England, and I loved listening to him speak. To this day, I am a pushover for any man with an accent. Chibuzor had just moved to Lagos, and our mutual friend, who worked with him, had described him as tall, attractive, and hard-working. A single man with a solid job! It seemed promising. I was looking forward to our dinner date, even though I literally hated been matchmade. I made an exception in this case.

The excitement was short-lived: Chibuzor — who was as attractive as advertised — arrived at my apartment building more than a half-hour late. I was confused, as he’s a professional man in his early 30s. He should at least understand the importance of time and sticking to it. When I asked him, if he had gotten the time mixed up, he just said he had, that he was just held up, but he didn’t apologize or explain himself. “OK,” I told myself. “Try to stay positive!” It has proven to be quite a challenge finding single, educated, employed, good-looking men, who are also emotionally available, in this city! I have this discussion on a regular basis with a whole bunch of my single girlfriends.

We hadn’t made a plan beyond dinner, so we sat on the sofa to decide where to go. With considerable excitement, Chibuzor asked me if I enjoyed sushi. “Not really,” I told him. I’m very adventurous, but I just don’t enjoy the texture of raw fish. We continued to debate where to go, what to eat. I suggested several restaurants closer to my home, but he found fault with each:

Too loud! Too far! Too busy! After approximately 15 minutes, Chibuzor said “Listen, I know a great spot that has the best sushi you have ever tasted.” Famished, and knowing that I was already annoyed and likely to become more so if we continued this debate, I gave up and agreed.

Finding a spot to park was indeed, a hassle, and Chibuzor did not want to go for a paying parking lot, so we were merry-go-rounding for more minutes than I cared, because, I was already hungry. Then, the wait to be served at the busy sushi restaurant — where we didn’t have a reservation, of course — was approximately 45 minutes. Chibuzor proceeded to talk about his childhood, education, travels, and personal interests. He enjoyed talking about himself … a lot. It became clear that he wasn’t going to ask a single question about me.

I managed to pry myself away from the conversation and escaped to the sidewalk for some fresh air. I stood outside, irritated and trying to calm myself. Another woman joined me on the sidewalk, and we ended up chatting; I shared some of the details of my evening; my dating life. She then explained her general rule: “Always stick with drinks or coffee on a first date.” Bracing myself, I returned to the table. It was more of the same.

In the car on the way home, I decided to subtly point out to Chibuzor what had been missing on our date, and asked, “Are you at all interested in what I do all day? I have a pretty busy life with lots of interests.” Very arrogant man. Silence ensued. No questions. Nothing.

We arrived in front of my apartment building. I quickly thanked him and got out, not daring to look back. The next day, Chibuzor called to say it was the best first date he had ever had. He continued, “Are you free next Saturday?” Of course, I had to pass.


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