Bridget is a 28-year-old corporate trainer. She describes her style as “upscale trendy” and says she is “kind, observant, adventurous . . . and I love my wine.” Bridget likes the outdoors alot and travels a lot internationally; she also enjoys just going out to dinner with friends. She says “The length of time I’ve been single is relative” but estimates that it’s been two years since her last serious relationship. Bridget says that it’s a challenge for her to fit dating into her schedule. She says “I don’t wait around for men to live my life.” Bridget is looking for a guy “who won’t bail at the sign of rough waters. Intelligence is sexy, too.”
I met Henry on a dating site. I use a few different ones. I liked that he was tall, knew about current events and also seemed a bit silly and fun. He suggested a good restaurant in town, and since, I had already been there and loved it, it seemed like a workable idea and thumbs up for him.
We met in front of the restaurant and just started talking. We had great chemistry. Henry was really charming and acted a little goofy, which I liked. Things were playful between us, but we also shared a sense of worldliness and intelligence. I could tell that we both like to show off a bit and are both a bit aggressive. So far, so good.
We talked a lot about travelling. I’m more of a cheapstakes in this department, while Henry is more of a baller. He did have a slightly annoying habit of talking about himself, and more to the point, speaking very highly of himself. He said that people usually misread him, and that he didn’t have to try too hard for anyone, because he is “well read.” The conversation was great, overall, but I did notice that he not only dominated the conversation, but that he was opinionated to a point that was almost distasteful. He was pretty self-absorbed and really didn’t ask me much about myself. I would try and interject with similar anecdotes, which he ignored as he continued on with his story. I was thinking at this point that he wasn’t the guy for me.
I couldn’t finish my dinner, so I offered the rest of it to him. He paid for both of us. We went for ice cream afterwards. It was nice, for the most part. I told him about a really exciting art project I’m doing — it’s not a big deal, and I’m still working on it, but I was excited to share. After, he walked me to my car and we kissed. It was nice. Maybe I had been wrong about him. Maybe I just needed to give him another couple of dates to know who he really was. We made plans to have a second date later that week.
At some point between then and our next date, I went on the dating site where I had found Henry and continued to read messages. Everyone does it. Then I decided to look at Henry’s’ pictures and profile again. When I did, I saw that he had added a new profile picture and changed up the text of his profile — including a new part about an art project! He had included a mention of what I had told him about, as if he was the one doing it.
I texted him and called him on the whole thing. He just retaliated by saying that we weren’t exclusive. I responded that of course we weren’t exclusive, but that it seemed like bad manners to update your profile in-between dates with the same woman! Back in the day, when guys got numbers and dated multiple girls, we all suspected it, but had no idea if it was really happening. Why flaunt the fact that you’re still searching online? We didn’t even talk about the new addition to his profile!
That was the end of that. Date No. 2? Never happened.