Dating Diaries: He Did All The Talking And I Listened – Eniola’s story

Eniola is a 36-year-old marketing co-ordinator. She says “I like to dress fashionably, often in the style of designers like Ralph Lauren and Tom Ford.” Eniola says, “I live life to the fullest. I love to make people laugh, and I’m always cracking jokes.” Eniola loves to hang out with her friends “at a local haunt, or at each other’s homes for dinner and wine.” She adds “I have a lot of really good guy friends: platonic, of course. When I date someone, it is because I’m really into them. I don’t date for the sake of dating.”

I believe that more time, rather than less, should be spent chatting online before plunging into a date. I figure that by doing so, you can weed out the undesirables better. So, Kayode and I chatted online intermittently over the course of a few weeks, and actually engaged in a telephone conversation, which is rare for this day and age. None of it seemed contrived, and Kayode seemed adventurous and interesting. We decided on dinner.

I arrived early to grab a table. Kayode arrived, and we shared polite pleasantries. I have to admit I wasn’t as attracted to him as I’d anticipated. All was well for the first few minutes, until Kayode decided to break out his life’s curriculum vitae in a way that seemed almost closer to a rant than first-date conversation. Geez!!! I was in for a treat, as I listened to  how he was brought up to his various skills, no aspect of his life was left untouched.

At first, I thought it was simply nervous chatter, but no, it wasn’t. He kept going.

I sat back, paralyzed by his monologue and smiling mentally at the scenario, I had dragged myself into. As he continued with his pitch, my eyes began to wander over his outfit, which was not good. I had a cold or flu starting, and I contemplated using that as an excuse to get out of the date.

At one point, Kayode said something that I think he meant to be profound or affecting, and I couldn’t help it — I burst into laughter. He didn’t appreciate my response. It was this moment that made me realize that this guy takes himself much too seriously…way too seriously.

After that, Kayode asked me, oddly, if I was attracted to him, and if I felt like the date was a mistake. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him how annoying it was that he had failed to invite me into the conversation at any point.

Luckily, the waitress interrupted the train wreck and took our orders. We decided on a few appetizers, which I really hoped would slow down Kayode’s stream-of-autobiography, or at least give us something to talk about other than him.

Unfortunately, his bizarre ranting continued when the food arrived. I could not ask a question, make a statement, or cut in in any way — he was going non-stop. I was getting his full, unedited life story, including the minute details of his latest real-estate transaction. I couldn’t understand why he was doing this — he had been great to talk to online and on the phone. I was indicating to him I was bored in my gestures and body language, but he clearly didn’t pick up on any of that. At this point I just started to marvel at his bad dating technique.

I’m not interested in being an attention-hungry narcissist’s pawn, so soon after this I told him that I was done eating, and that I was ready to leave. The date ended rather abruptly, with a short hug. I felt bad for Kayode but I was also offended. Dating never seemed this difficult in my 20s.

What the heck is happening? :unsure:

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