Lana is a 28-year-old single woman who works in a call centre. She says, “I enjoy keeping abreast of current social and political events; travelling and planning upcoming vacations; listening to jazz and hip-hop; and reading.” She is “witty, impulsive, hardworking and humble.”
Lana describes her look as “very business casual. I like to be classy but relaxed at the same time.” She is “pretty judgmental” and says, “I like to think about things from multiple perspectives to understand why things are the way they are” and adds, “I’m not too nervous around a group of new people, but when it comes to guys who I’m actually attracted to, it’s a little bit of a challenge.”
My dating life has been full of one-date duds. I’ll admit, I fall for smooth-talkers, but nothing sobers my rationale once a guy shows how immature and indecisive he is. Worst of all, I’ve gone out with too many who expect something for doing nothing at all.
I don’t ask for much, but finding someone who’s considerate, romantic, ambitious and has a good sense of humour is like finding a unicorn. And asking to go somewhere a cut above another bar seems to be the equivalent to asking for a guy’s hand in marriage nowadays. Hey, I may be thirsty, but I’m not parched.
I was taking one of the last buses for the night and, while a group of rambunctious passengers were wandering through the bus park, my eyes met Yinka’s and we shared a look of disappointment.
I smiled at him. He was super cute. We made small talk and flirted some and eventually I gestured for him to come sit closer to me. I’m not the type to give out my number to guys I barely know, but he was cute and very polite and, by the time we parted ways, we had exchanged information.
Yinka and I spoke over the phone a few times and I quickly learned that he wasn’t much of a talker. Maybe it was nerves; maybe he just wasn’t the phone type. But, again, with looks like his, I didn’t care. He wasn’t shy about wanting to take me out, so when he asked, we made plans for that following weekend.
I’ve done the classic dinner-and-a-movie thing way too much to enjoy it anymore. I wanted to mix things up a little bit, so I suggested that we go to a resort outside of town. Yinka had never been there before. The resort was always open but things were done on a first-come-first-served basis, so we decided to arrive early, so we can head back home early. We were supposed to meet at 4pm, but Yinka didn’t show up for another hour. I was livid when he finally arrived. His weak apology didn’t win me over, either, but, for some reason, I held some hope that the tide would turn.
On our way to, I stopped to grab a drink and Yinka chose to wait outside. When I returned, he was nowhere to be found. Immediately, I began to contemplate whether today’s dating decorum had deteriorated so much that men felt emboldened enough to ditch a woman before the night had begun.
I was relieved when the answer to that question reappeared around the corner a moment later. Apparently, Yinka had gone to use the washroom. OK, wait, what? I looked at eatery, then looked back at him and realized that he hadn’t come from the bathroom inside. At 30, did he really just go take a leak around the corner? I was disgusted. What stray dog was I on a date with?
I was terminally turned off by his behaviour before we even stepped in the door of the club. Of course, he didn’t offer to buy me a drink.
I enjoyed the performance, but couldn’t wait to go home and that’s exactly what I did afterwards. Guess what? He didn’t stop me. I was disappointed, but not surprised.
I’ve been on a few bad dates in my lifetime, but I have never experienced this level of humiliation and disrespect before. I gave Yinka a piece of my mind, when he had the nerve to call me again.