Susan is a 33-year-old “creative entrepreneur” . She says her look is “edgy but feminine” and describes herself as “a little crazy, passionate, independent, sure of myself. I’m a little all over the place, but in a good way.” With friends, Susan likes “going for walks and hikes, watching Netflix and going to the movies or a pub. On dates, I’m up for anything.” Since getting divorced last year, Susan has been in one serious relationship. She says, “I don’t have a dating life right now,” and adds, “I’ve been on two dating sites, but I found them to be more like a cattle call, and the guys I met wanted to get too serious right away. Ugh!” Susan is looking for someone who is “strong, kind, compassionate, outdoorsy, proactive, a music lover and taller than I am. Someone who will accept me as I am.”
I met Charles at a work function. He seemed like a nice guy, but the room was loud and I couldn’t really talk to him too much. He didn’t have a beard, which I appreciated. No beards are my preference. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt when I first meet them, so when Charles asked for my number, I gave it to him. We texted for a bit before he asked me out.
We agreed to go to lunch and then see a movie after. Charles suggested a vegan restaurant, because I had told him about my food allergies and he wanted me to have more options. I told him that my allergies weren’t an issue, and I’m used to being careful about what I order. He insisted and said that the reviews of the vegan place were really good.
Charles picked me up. The vibe was a little awkward. I realized right away that we were just too different.
I also realized that Charles is a person who doesn’t do anything fast. He drove below the speed limit. I was thinking, at least keep up with the flow of traffic! He didn’t seem to mind when people cut him off. We were driving downtown, and I was the one calling the other drivers names, and he was just like “It’s OK, it happens.” He also spoke really softly, and I was struggling to hear him in the small space of the car. I like guys with more of a strong personality, the kind of guy who knows what he wants and goes after it. I am a very passionate, go-go type of person.
When we got to the restaurant, it turned out to be closed. I wasn’t happy. I didn’t like that he didn’t make sure that the place he insisted on going to was open. Did he not see the business hours online when he read the reviews? It was nice that he was looking out for my allergies, but check if the place is open!
We then headed to another restaurant nearby, but it turned out that you needed reservations. I did not want to be the kind of person who complains on a date, so I said I was OK with the fact that we now had to go look for a third place.
The next place we came across was busy, and there was a line out the door. Charles looked at me and asked, hopefully, if I wanted to go in. I said no, because of the lineup. For some reason, he ignored me, and proceeded to walk in to the restaurant, anyway. I followed him, reluctantly. He squeezed himself into the small space between the door and the other people who were lined up, and left me standing behind him. It was loud and hot because of all the people waiting. I decided to go stand outside.
For 10 minutes, Charles didn’t once try to find out where I was or even text me to ask. That was when I decided that, “screw this, I am out of here,” and left. It might have been a jerk move, but if a guy doesn’t even realize that I’m missing for 10 or 15 minutes while we’re waiting in a line, then I feel like I’m wasting my time with him.
After another 15 minutes, he finally phoned me to ask where I was, and said that the wait time for the third restaurant was about an hour, and if I wanted to, we could go to a different place! Hell no was that going to happen! I was already gone. That was the last time we ever talked. He never apologized.