Judith is a 34-year-old teacher. She is “very outgoing and very positive” and says she loves to be around people. She also loves to explore the city: “Growing up in a small town meant there wasn’t a lot to do. I’m still amazed at the city life.
After several years together and one year of marriage, I left my husband. He had developed severe depression and wouldn’t seek help, and I eventually gave him the choice to seek help or split up. He said he didn’t want help, and I haven’t seen him since. I never thought I would date again, but here I am.
John was my very first online date. Very soon after we started emailing, John asked me if I wanted to meet up. I sent him my number, and was happy to do so: I’d heard that online dating was tough, but it seemed pretty easy to me.
I arrived early, because I wanted to be ready and look cool and casual.
All of a sudden, I saw this nerdy guy wearing his pants almost up to his nipples. This couldn’t be my date . . . But it was. I had heard stories about online dating where people left upon seeing their date, but I didn’t want to be that girl. I couldn’t be that girl. John was really excited — delighted, in fact — to meet me. I honestly thought I was being pranked. But I had heard many people say that single people were “too picky.” Perhaps I was too picky.
It seemed like John couldn’t believe the date was actually happening. I, on the other hand, couldn’t believe that this was John, as the smiling, fun-seeming man with a great body in his photos looked nothing like he did in real life. His voice was also extremely loud.
After I realized the date wasn’t a joke or a prank, I found myself in teacher mode, trying to guide the date along. I think he was surprised that he was getting attention and that I was so attentive. I wondered, “Is this who I’m supposed to date?” I downed my beer, and realized that he was nursing his, and I was screwed.
John was actually nice, and seemed to mean well. However, few minutes into the date, John announced that he had bought us tickets for a concert … a month from then. I didn’t know what to say other than: “That’s a little fast.” Later John asked me if I liked to travel, and of course I said yes, and he asked me if I wanted to go with him on an upcoming trip he was planning — and told me how much it would cost me to go. I knew I was doomed. At the same time, everyone was staring at us, because he was speaking so loudly.
When the bill came, I paid. John said it was his “best date ever.” I gave him an awkward hug goodbye. Ten minutes later, I got an email from John saying that he was so excited to meet me after searching for me for so long, and I realized that he must make statements like this all the time. I vowed never to date online again.