For those of you who email/tweet/Facebook me with advice about my dating life, I hear one criticism frequently – that I need to stop dating ex’s and date NEW men. I appreciate any feedback and in this case I completely agree and I have been trying to do that… well except for the recent date with “Latin Lover”. That date was somewhat one of curioisity and well not gonna sugarcoat it, down and dirty Miss naughty pants stuff.
Yet, I know that I need to open up (carefully) to new men and have been taking baby steps doing that. I just haven’t been able to catch you up until now on how that’s been going and what new ways I’ve gotten my ass kicked by it. Yay, go me! Meh.
There have been some fun dates, first kisses, good guys, attraction and mixed signals, maybe even from me. Admittedly, I’m not great at navigating through these murky waters of dating and it has probably made all this more complicated because I’m trying to resolve the feelings that have come to the surface after seeing Latin Lover again.
I’m trying to keep a frame of mind about Latin Lover that I’m just going to let whatever is going to happen to be and not get too excited about it. Usually this delusion lasts about 3 seconds and in my mind the next moment we are running across a field of daisies, toward each other, arms outstretched (which other than not knowing where a field of daisies is, it could totally happen).
However, I recently went on a dating spree. All these dates happened within the same week, which was probably not a good idea in and of itself. There were some good moments, nice first kisses and well of course awkward moments too…
I started talking to a few men on Twitter, which has been such a bad decision in the past. It isn’t Twitter, it is that my “persona” on Twitter is maybe a little bit of a fantasy. That isn’t to sound like I think too much of myself, but 90% of my tweets are from naughty, shiny side of me. I think the expectation is that I always cook in my heels and talk dirty 24/7 (almost true, but not exactly, lol).
I did meet a man on Twitter though who was really sincere, a writer himself and broken. We started sending messages back and forth and my role early seemed to be consoling him. The first time we talked on the phone we totally hit it off and talked for 4 hours into the wee hours of the morning. It was a powerful, connected conversation. It did go near “Dirtytown” and unfortunately I think that’s where this train wrecked and burned, burning alive all the passengers inside. (not to be too dramatic, or anything)
I also made a “Rookie Mistake” which I shouldn’t have. I know better. I was a dumbass and met him at his place. Fortunately, he wasn’t one of “those guys” but I know he wanted that to happen and he became awkward and uncomfortable. Maybe it was just normal nerves but unfortunately it triggered a horrible flashback in my past. We went on with the date, went to cute little spot near his apartment and went through the motions. Unfortunately, there was just no way for me to pull myself out of this emotional funk. We ended the night with good intentions to see each other and a good night kiss, but I just wanted to hibernate. As soon as I got home, I went straight to bed, pulled the covers over my head and cried thinking of my past hurts and that feeling lingered for a couple of days.
He saw me on a dating site and emailed the hell outta me. I didn’t have a membership so I could only send him one email, which I did after about 5 from him, giving him my personal email address. He seemed a little like a pompous jerk and although I couldn’t even read everything he sent me, it seemed to be driving him bat shit crazy that I wasn’t emailing him. Once the email correspondence started, he revealed a side of him that was sweet, vulnerable and overall not-assholeish.
We texted and clicked. Clearly, he was really falling for my goofiness and dorkiness — it’s my tractor beam that sucks them in every time. Pity, really. Just kiddin, but I was starting to let my guard down with him and share more about myself. We had some favorite songs in common and it opened the door for some inside jokes and cute flirting. We were careful not be too flirty and it seemed like our first date was going to be one for the books. Before we even went out, he was setting up our second date and dropped hints of taking me along to Chicago for a business trip with him the following week. I have to admit, it didn’t suck.
For our first date, he planned an innocent date that would have been “Leave it to Beaver” approved — indoor mini golf near my house. When he got there he made sure to be obvious by texting me to look out for his BMW in the parking lot, which this was one of several overt references he made to his financial success. *Gag*
Anyhoo, the date was fun. He seemed nervous to meet me and in an attempt to impress me tried to show off his mini golf swag. Whenever he could, he stood near me and I could tell he was attracted to me, which was nice to know early. He was dark and handsome, but not as confident as I would have liked. However, I was beginning to like him in person.
After golfing, we headed outside on the cold night and had our first kiss. He was a little nervous, grabbed my head and kissed me hard. The kiss led to several more and they were passionate. After a few minute kissing sesh, he leaned up against his BMW to lay the ol’ sales pitch on me for me to come to his house to continue the evening. It was about as subtle as the moment on “The Bachelor” when there is an envelope inviting the other to the fantasy suite for the evening and both people know what’s about to go down.
I couldn’t be out late because it was a work/school night for one. Second, I was not about to go to his house on a first date. He insisted that he wasn’t going to push intimacy and that nothing would happen that wasn’t a good idea. I didn’t want the date to end, so I offered that instead we have a drink at a nearby pub and continue the night. He wouldn’t have it and tried his best to persuade me. Neither one of us budged so we parted for the night with a lot of kisses and date number two planned for the next night.
The next day just so happened to be election day and not a good financial day for Bachelor #2, as he is a Financial Planner. He texted me to cancel the date and was a total a-hole about how he lost a lot of money in the market that day and lashed out at me. I was done.
Next time: Bachelor #3… two dates, attraction but maybe some mixed messages…
Thanks for reading!
The Single Mom